5.1: Ashes to Ashes

I nervously held the box in my hands, and gently rubbed one finger across the tattered desolate coffin of memories. The words Sebastian Alexander appeared and in that moment my life changed forever

There is something so eerie about walking into a house of someone that's passed away. It's that strange feeling that they are still there with you, watching you discover all the hidden secrets they had kept away for so long. I wonder if that's what I'll regret when I die, not hiding all my skeletons good enough. The only difference between my skeletons and my grandfather's is mine are metaphorical, and his were real.

There is a small gap in my brain about that day I found out my grandfather was a death eater, I didn't quite understand as I was seven when he passed away, but my mom assured me that he was a good man, who just believed in some things a little too strong. She compared it to the radical religious groups in the world that believe the only way of living is their way, and that while he followed a radical group, that my grandfather loved me very much. That much I believed, but still knowing that had I been a little older, I too would have fought in the Battle at Hogwarts, against my grandfather and dad, yea he's one too, scared me as it would any seven year old. I grew up with a sense of fear that at any moment my dad would want to purify me too. 

I walked into his old room and immediately noticed a large green decrepit box that had been haphazardly placed under his bed. I assume that when the Ministry came to investigate his whereabouts they carelessly threw around anything that looked suspicious or of any value. Full of dust and cobwebs, I sat down on his bed and breathed in before slowly opening the box. Inside was a smaller rectangular box, a old handkerchief from his war days, and a torn journal that read:

Property of S. Alexander
1953, Knights of Walpurgis.

I glanced over at the smaller box, and noticed writing on the top of it covered in dust. I nervously held the box in my hands, and gently rubbed one finger across the tattered desolate coffin of memories. The words Sebastian Alexander appeared and in that moment my life changed forever. As the small cloud of dust cleared, inside the box was a 12 inch wand, with the word Defaeco etched in the side. I later learned that Defaeco was latin for purge or purify. There was a part of me that knew what all this meant, but still at such a young age, there is still so much innocence left to consume by the horrors of the reality we live in. I sat the box down, and tried to wrap my head around it all, and just as the silence set in, a loud crashing noise came from in the living room. 

I immediately jumped up, and nervously peaked my head around the corner, fear of the Ministry, I cautiously peaked my head further to take in my surroundings. On the floor was a picture frame that had my grandfather and grandmother outside Godric's Hollow posing in the snow. My grandmother looked so elegant, with her fur coat that was so long it graced the edge of the earth each time she walked. My grandfather had his military outfit on, and a bag next to him that looked like clothes. I had never seen this picture before, and as I watched my grandparents smile as my grandfather pulled her in closer to protect her from the cold, I felt at peace with this death. I knew that If I wanted to know the truth, It was up to me to find it. I picked up the pieces of broken glass, and noticed my grandfather's bedroom door was shut. My heart started to racing as I recalled leaving it open when I rushed out, but with a new sense of pride for my grandfather I opened the door confidently only to be startled by a black cat that was lying on his bed. Oddly enough his journal was opened to page one, and the cat laid there as if the bed was her's all along. As my heart returned to it's more healthier state, I sat back down on the bed and picked up the journal, I skimmed through the first few pages which were blank, and began to shut the journal when I felt the gentle nuzzle of a furry animal near my arm. I looked down to see the cat pushing my arm as if to tell me to keep searching. I noticed a small tear in one of the pages, so I flipped to that page, still blank, I focused heavily at it's blank canvas as I unknowingly and slowly closed my eyes.

I woke to the scratching of a cat on my arm, it was nearly dark outside and her presence startled me as shot up from lying down. I don't know if I was more concerned that I just fell asleep in the middle of being awake, or if I was laying in my deceased grandfather's bed. It was getting late, and after having no luck with his journal, I began putting all his belongings away. Carefully I put his wand back in the box, and began to shut the journal, when all of the sudden the black cat was making a awful hissing noise, she looked possessed, and nearly in what I assumed were cat tears. I set the journal down to see if I could comfort her, and she immediately rushed to the journal, and began nudging at the pages. I tried my best to pet her, but she insisted on nudging the journal so much I had no choice but to pick it up, hoping she would calm down. I sat next to her with the journal in my hand, it felt heavier and more ominous then before, I flipped to the first page, as one hand slowly  petted her, and noticed there was faint writing all over the pages. She began to purr loudly, as if this was what she was trying to show me all along. 

I focused heavily on the words on the page, and my heart sunk, my feeling of pride and understanding for my grandfather quickly faded away as each word met my eye. It read:

Knights of Walpurgis: Day 1

Muggles killed: 3
Half Blood killed: 1

Purify
S.Alexander