Here is a page from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

 Chapter: Dobby's Warning

I've redacted random words. Fill in the blanks as you please, make it funny!

"Oh — really?" said Harry. "Er — I don't want to be rude or anything, but — this isn't a great time for me to have a _______ in my bedroom."
Aunt Petunia's high, false ______ sounded from the ____ room.
The _____ hung his _____.
"Not that I'm not pleased to ____ you," said Harry quickly, "but, er, is there any particular reason you're here?"
"Oh, yes, sir," said ____ earnestly. "______ has come to ____ you, sir... it is difficult, sir... _____ wonders where to be-gin...."
"Sit down," said Harry politely, pointing at the ___.
To his horror, the __ burst into _____ — very noisy _____.
"S-sit down!" he wailed. "Never... never ever...