Chapter Note: More Harden Scott Action here hehhe

Theodore

Today

And she's mad at me again. 

I just don't get why she never tries 

to listen to me..

8:25 a.m.

Theodore

Come on dude, she's been through a lot.

You can't really be that surprised that she has trust issues, can you?

If i was Bella, I'd never speak to you again, Mattheo.

After what you did this summer it's unforgivable

8:29 a.m.

You think I don't know that?! 

I know I fucked up!

 I know! 

I regret it every damn second alright? 

I really do"

8:30 a.m.

Theodore

Yeah, you might regret it now but did you while it was happening? 

No. 

And even afterwards, you regretted it sure...but only because she kept making you feel guilty for it. 

Otherwise you wouldn't have given two shits

8:33 a.m.

Are you serious...? 

Are you seriously implying that

 I don't actually feel guilty for what I did

that night?

Oh fuck this

8:36 a.m

Theodore

So you're just gonna run away like you do from everything. 

Right. 

Mattheo, do you really love her? 

No bullshit.

8:38  a.m.

Yes.

8:42 a.m.

Of course I fucking love her.

I've never felt this way about anyone before!

8:45 a.m.

Just wish I didn't fuck the whole thing up

8:47 a.m

Theodore

Okay. Then don't give up! 

Go back and talk to her! 

I know she'll eventually forgive you if you

really are that sorry...but also understand that she's not gonna forgive you right away. 

You're going to have to work for her trust again.

8:50 a.m

And what if it doesn't work?

8:51 a.m

She'll just continue to feel mad at me, 

she won't ever try to forgive me again."

8:52 a.m

Theodore

Then you're either gonna have to wait it out 

or just accept that she'll be mad at you for

the rest of the time you know her. Maybe one 

day she'll forgive you or maybe she never will, It doesn't matter. 

From what you told me about what you two

did last night. She has to trust you at least 

the tiniest bit, that's one of the most

intimate experiences anyone can have.

I still don't like you did it with my sister....but that's 

a different problem 

9: 10 a.m.

🙄

9:10 a.m

Theodore

If you really want her to trust you again, 

you're gonna have to be able to handle it if she gets upset at you. 

The worst thing you could do right now is walk away.

Try and prove to her that you can be better.

If you really care about my sister (which I know u do)then go back and see her again.

Prove to her  that you do  really care about

her, and that you actually mean your apology. 

Just don't give up on her. 

You have to prove that you do care, and that you're trying to do what's right...

not just what you want. You have to be a little patient and understand that you're 

the one who messed it up, and that she has every right not to trust you

9:18 a.m.

Yeah, I guess you're right. 

I have to earn her trust again, and  I'm gonna do that. 

For her.

 No matter what it takes to make her trust me again,

no matter how long it's gonna take

i'm gonna do it.

9:24 a.m

Theodore

That's what I like to hear. Just one thing though.

Are you prepared for it?

9:25 a.m.

wdym?

9:26 a.m

Theodore 

 Are you prepared to wait for her?

Even if it takes years? Cause you're gonna 

have to be patient. 

Extremely patient.

9:30 am.

Yeah. Yeah I am. I have to be. 

If I want to be with her and get her to fully trust me again... 

I'd wait a million lifetimes if it

 meant just to be with her again

9:35 a.m

Theodore

Good. Now Go!

Time to go make things right 

9:38 a.m.

Theodore

Just one thing  before you go

If you hurt her again.... 

i will personally beat your ass.

9:39 a.m.

You won't have to worry about that.

 I won't hurt her.

Not again. 

I'm going to earn her trust back from the ground up...and once 

I do that, I'm not letting go.

9:45 a.m

Theodore

Just making sure you heard me right

Now go!

9:46  a.m.

I put my phone down and leave the comfort of my dorm. After a short walk I finally reach Bellas room. And I knock. My palms start to sweat. Im not sure how she's gonna react, hell im not sure if she's even gonna open the door. I mean theos right, she has every right not to see him again. But right now, all i know is that i need to see her and prove to her that i really does want to do the right thing by her. Bella finally opens the door, shes wearing baggy sweatpants and an oversized hoodie, her black hair is up in a messy bun. I just stare at her for a couple of seconds. Even thoughshes in a baggy outfit and her hair is up in a sloppy bun, she still looks absolutely beautiful. Shes always beautiful to me.

I clear my throat as i say "Uh...I came to uh...to talk to you again..."

She nods opening the wide enough so i can walk through "Thanks..." i say as i step into the room, i rub my palms again and take a deep breath as i looks at her. Im not sure what to say right now, so i just stay quiet as i stare at her. I can feel the mood in the room getting more tense and awkward. Neither of us are saying

anything so things feel really quiet now. I take another deep breath before i speak up again "...So I was talking with Theo earlier...and..." I watch a she nods. I  notice how tired she looks, i can tell that she didn't sleep well after i left. I also notice how shes sitting on her bed, shes hugs her knees close to your chest, and I  feel a little guilty. "You look...tired." She nods not looking at me. i feel an urge to go sit down next to her on the bed. But I don't, "You didn't really sleep, did you?" She shakes her head as she whispers no. My heart starts hurting for her as i hears her whisper. "How did we get like this?" She whispers looking up at me "we were never like this before" I swallow as i hear her say this, and to be honest im not really sure how we both got to this point. In fact,

id been thinking the exact same thing. "I... I don't know...we got even closer lose over last term only for it to fall like this, and just...now there's this weird tension between us." i sigh "Can we just...can we just get rid of this tension? Can we just go back to how we used to be? Before that night... before everything happened. Please.." She looks at me with tears starting to form

"We didn't even know what we were before"

"But...we were...close...We were pretty close, weren't we?" I say softly as i look back over at her. I can still remember everything we

did together over those few months. And even though it was a messy situation, i still did have a lot of fun with her. And that's all i want again, just without all the messy stuff and tension. "So...can we just...can we just go back to being close without all the mess? Without the drama?" She doesn't nod, she just looks at the bed sheets infront of her as a single tear falls, "We can, right? Right? Please..." I say as i start to get hopeful now. I've been dying to get things back to normal again, to patch things up between us. "But that was us. The drama, the secret kisses, screaming and crying and kissing in the rain...that was us......" She whispers. Its true. I know it is. The drama and secret kisses was a lot of what our relationship was with eachother. "Nothing about us was Normal" She whispers again. I sigh as i hear her say this, it's true. Nothing about it was normal at all. We were both acting like a couple even though we kept denying it....well I kept denying it. Our "friendship" had a lot of "benefits" for the time being, and i was just too dumb to admit it. And i can't keep denying it like i used to, i know that our relationship before everything fell apart really did have a lot of "un-normal" things to it  and i do miss all of that "un-normal" stuff. The drama and all the secret kisses and just...being with her. I sigh, I know if I really want things to get back to the way they used to be... the dramatic way...then i have to start acting like it. i have to stop apologizing for everything and stop being so apologetic. I have to just go with the flow and not give a damn. Fuck it might be awkward for a while, but this is the only way back. I look up at her again watching her silently she lays down on her side, to stare at the wall. And if im being honest I'm a little surprised by it. Was she giving up? Was she just going to pretend that we didn't just have the conversation you did? "You okay?" I finally ask. She nods. Im silent for a few seconds, i feel like there should be more said but i can't say anything. I dont know what to do here, "So...you don't wanna go back to how we were Before...before that night? Before everything fell apart?"

“It was toxic"  I stay silent for a few seconds as i hear her say this. I don't know how to react to this, But fuck shes right. From the start it was toxic. Im silent again. Was there really no way to salvage things? Was there no way to go back to the way things were? I suddenly think that maybe this is where things have to end, and that really bothers me. I hate that i know this might be the best for the both of us. i watch as she curls up into the fetal position and more tears fall. I can feel my heart starting to break at the sight of it. And It's becoming painfully obvious that this

really is over between us two. The fact that shes crying really puts the nail in the coffin. I want to say something...anything...but i have nothing left to offer. I know that just staying quiet right

now is the best option. Silence fills the room for a handful of minutes, and i just stare at her as she curls up into a ball and crys silently. "It isn't over is it Mattheo? This isn't the end right?" she whispers. I stay silent for a few seconds as i try to processes what she just said. "I don't want it to be over. But at this point I.... I'm not sure if there's anything we can do to fix things from here... I really don't. This might be the end." She nods before whispering okay. All I can do now is just watching her silently. The thought of things ending like this between us really bothers me. But fuck i know that i messed up, Bella deserves someone that can make her as happy as she deserve to be, someone that is...better than me. I look at her as she rolls over, my eyes lock with hers as she looks at me.  I can see just how sad she is right now too. I can't get over the fact that this whole situation has turned into such a mess. I take a deep breath before i ask my last question. "Can I...can I have one last hug before I go?..." I feel my chest tighten as I watch her face crumple, but she nods. My stupis heart skips a beat at this, I knows that this hug is the last time im ever gonna be able to hug her again. I slowly walk over to the bed and sit down right next to her. I take a deep breath and open my arms wide as i wait for the hug. But to my surprise Bella lifts up the covers and pats the space next to her. I hesitate for a few seconds, Im not exactly sure if this is the right thing to do but i eventually go ahead and lay down. i lay my head down on her chest and immediately feels her warm embrace around. I can't deny how much comfort and safety i feel around her. I lay there silently as i listens to the sounds of her heartbeat just below my ear. I let out a soft sigh as i try to

savor this last bit of comfort that shes giving to me. I notice rhe tight grip she keeps on me. Its like shes holding onto me for dear life. I sigh as I feel myself start to loosen up as i start to relax into her embrace. I put my arms around her, holding her just as tightly. I feels a sense of safety from this, and i start to close my eyes as i hold her. Fuck i don't want this to end.......