CHAPTER NOTES: I've had people tell me this isn't my story....BRO LITTERALLY WROTE THESE CHAPTERS ON THE NOTES APP ON MY PHONE 😭 😭 I CAN SHOW SCREENSHOTS, BUT YA ITS TO THE POINT IVE GLITCHED MY PHONE SO BADLY IT RUNS SO SLOW NOW 😭 😭 😭

The next morning, there's a loud knock on Bella's door, Im slowly brought out of  sleep, my eyes slowly opening and adjusting to the light from the large window as i hear the loud knock on the door again. lifting my head slightly to look at her before gently moving my arm that  i draped around her form to rub the sleep from my eyes. I slowly push myself upwards into a sitting position, my eyes turning towards the door as i hear another loud knock on the door again...... a low groan escaping my lips as i realises whoevers at the fucking door isnt leaving anytime. My heart rate kicks up slightly as i hear the loud knock and the distinct sound the knock t gives away whoever is knocking. I lift my other arm carefully, resting it on her hip as i push my body weight off of the bed and onto my feet. slowly making my way to the sound of the knocking and cautiously open the door, my eyes falling upon a very pissed off Pansy. " There you are....."

《♡》

When she woke up, she discovered he wasn't there. Where the fuck did he go? She had no clue...well that's not true she had an idea of where he could be, but she didn't want to believe it. She didn't want to believe that he would go back, after he promised he wouldn't. But whats the harm in checking right? Its not like she fully believed he meant it. With a sigh she manages to pull herself out of his bed, the aching between her legs from the night before noticeable, it was painful, not really but it was noticble as she walked to his desk were they had thrown her clothes in the heat of the moment. After dressing her self she walks out of his room and heads, to where she hoped he wasn't. Once arriving at the room, she knocks more forcefully then she wanted but, then again if he opened the door she was going to be pissed. Knocking again she hears quite shuffleing behind the door before he opens it, making her suspicions clear. The rage that she feels is scolding, it felt like if she got to close to something it would catch on fire from the heat of her anger. "There you are" She huffs out, her arms crossed over her chest and her jaw clenched as she snaps at him, her voice filled with obvious irritation as she looks at the brown haired boy. "What do you want... I literally just woke up..." He snaps back at her, his voice somewhat groggy from sleep as he rests his arm on the door frame, standing in the doorway to HER bedroom......"I want to know where you were all night. You never came back to your dorm......" She huffs out as she glares at him, her voice still tinged with irritation and anger......"we have sex and then I wake up to find you gone" As soon as the words leave her mouth, she see him stiffen and his fists clench, he glances over his shoulder at the girl shes knows is in bed for a moment before speaking to her...his girlfriend. His voice strained and quiet... "Let's talk about this somewhere else......" He says before he steps out of the bedroom and closes the door behind him. As he shuts the door behind him, the moment the bedroom door clicks shut, she steps forward and pushes him forward against the wall behind him.,"Well...?" She questions expectantly, her voice still tinged with irritation as she glares at him. He looks her in the eyes, she can see the panic set in for a few moments before he finally speaks. "I told you from the beginning that there was someone else, someone I loved...... you should have never gotten involved with me....." His words cut her like a knife, her expression falling slightly as she takes a step back. She knew this, hes right...but part of her hoped that he had gotten over her, thats why when she asks her question it comes out weak more then angry "So I was just a rebound... a distraction?..." She didn't want to admit it but she knew...or at least she thought she knew, and thats why her voice cracked slightly as she speaks. "No..."

"Don't lie to me!! I've known you long enough to know when you lie......." She steps back slightly, her eyes starting to form tears as her heart starts to ache......She hears the soft click of the door opening and turns to look, the boy infrot of her does the same thing, he looks over his shoulder. She sees his eyes  widening as he sees her step to the door, her eyes taking the sight of the two of them. "Um....sorry" she says before closing the door leaving her and the panickedboy alone. Pansy turns to look at him as he opens his mouth as if to speak, though can't seem to find the words. She stands there watching him silently as he struggles to say something, her expression turning from hurt to anger...... before he has a chance to speak, she steps forward and slaps him across the face, her anger pouring through her as she finally speaks. "I hate you......" His head jerks sideways from the force of the slap and he presses his hand against his face where her hand had made the impact. He stands there silent for a moment "I know..." He whispers quietly, his voice filled with guilt as She stands silently for a moment, taking a step back before she finally speaks once again "Do you love her..." She finally questions him, her eyes still laced with hurt and anger that feels like it's going to spill at any moment, "Yes... More than anything... I tried to forget her...... tried to move on...... but no matter what I did, my heart always went back to her...... I can't help who I fall in love with......" He speaks quietly, his answer blunt and truthful. The answer breaks her heart, the realization that even with how hard she tried to get him to love her, it was never going to work, she can't help but let a tear fall, her voice breaking slightly as she speaks "So you never loved me... you used me..." His answer only pouring salt on the new gaping wound, "I never meant to hurt you...... you knew from the start that my heart belonged to her, it wasn't supposed to develop into more than some fun.... but I should have stopped it before it got serious.... I knew it was wrong to get involved with you......" She watches as he glances to the side slightly as she hears Bella opening a door. She keeps looking at him as he still stands there silent. She also stands there silently, tears rolling down her cheeks as she trys to processes everything he's said to her, the hurt from his words and the pain of knowing she was never going to get him. "So that's it then....it's all over.... we're over... and I'm nothing more than just a stupid mistake to you..." She finally manages to speak, her voice shaky and broken as she turns away. "You're not a mistake... you're not stupid... you deserve someone so much better than me...someone who can love you properly... someone who will give you the world.... someone who can give you everything they have to offer... you deserve someone better than me.... you're worth so much more than me...." She doesn't know why she does or says  what she did, cause she knows it's not going to change anything but she can hope, "but I want you" she leans forward and kisses him on the lips. His eyes widen in shock as she steps forward and kisses him, the surprise from the kiss leaving him frozen on the spot for a few moments until his mind finally catches up with the situation. He hesitates only for mere moments before he reluctantly lets his body respond, his subconscious taking control as he kisses her back. Her lips move against his softly, as he gives in to the kiss. She can feel as him as he reaches out and wraps his arm around her waist, pulling her body against his as his kiss deepens. He continues to kiss her, letting his body take control and making him give in to the feeling of her skin against his and the taste of her lips on his. His hands tangle in her hair as he deepens the kiss, pressing his body closely against hers. She doesnt mean to let out a noise but she does, she lets out a small noise of contentment as she feels him tangle his fingers in her hair, her body pressed closely against his as their kiss deepens even more. Despite the hurt she feels from him, his touch and his kiss makes her body go limp and give in completely to the moment. He deepens the kiss even more, his lips moving against hers in a desperate passion driven by what she knows is the guilt he feels. He holds her even tighter against his body. Shes completely lost in the moment, her heart aches are replaced with a need and a desire, as his body completely giving in to her as his lips move passionately against hers and his hands tangle in her hair and hold her so tightly to him that they feel as one person. She kisses him back eagerly, her hands sliding down to his chest and gripping his shirt in her hands as she pulls his body closer to hers. Her heart is pounding, a mixture of hurt and passion filling her as she savours every moment of the kiss, his mouth moving against hers so intensely and so passionately its making her dizzy. She feels as his hands slide down to her hips, his fingers gently digging into her skin slightly as his body moves closer to her and pushes her back against the wall. He only breaks the kiss for mere moments to catch his breath, her lungs and heart on fire as he presses his forehead into the crook of her neck, his breath panting heavily and his body shaking slightly. Her eyes open slightly as he breaks the kiss, her heart racing and her body slightly limp from how intense the kiss was. Her breathing is shaky as she tries to recompose herself, her cheeks flushed and her body still pressed back into the wall from him pushing her against it. His body is pressed impossibly close against hers, his breath panting against her skin as he tries to get his breathing under control. He finally lifts his head slowly, his breath still coming out in heavy pants as his eyes flutter open to meet hers. he gently leans in and rests his forehead against hers, his eyes closing slightly as she tries to take in the feeling of her body against his  She can feel the guilt and see the hesitation in his eyes as he leans his forehead against hers. Her heart aches in her chest, not sure what to think anymore and feeling too exhausted to truly care as guilt mixed with hurt and passion floods her body. But before long he breaks that little fansty feeling letting the outside world come crashing back in "I can't pansy" she hears him whisper. She nods slightly, her voice breaking slightly as she speaks "I... I know..." Her heart aches, her body still pressed back against the wall and his body pressed so close against hers...... She can feel the guilt and regret in his eyes her own heart aching. He finally takes a step back, his body still shaking slightly "I'm... I'm so sorry..."

"For what?.... For using me?.... for lying to me?... for making me believe you ever loved me?.... for breaking my heart?.... for doing exactly what I told you not to do?..." She speaks in a shaky tone, her voice tinged with hurt as she speaks. "........ Yes.... to it all....." He lets out a shaky breath, he stands there quietly, "I'm sorry" and he leans in and kisses her forehead then walks back into her room closing the door behind him.She watches him walk away, her heart aching in her chest. Her body leans back against the wall for support as she tries to process everything, her body and heart weak from what just happened. She lifts her hand and touches the spot on her forehead where he just kissed. She stands there alone in the corridor for a few moments, tears running silently down her cheeks as she tries to pull herself together, her heart aching. She finally lifts her head and stands up straight, taking a deep breath and wiping her tears away with her sleeve, before she finally turns around and walks away back down the corridor to her dorm.

《♡》

Several minutes later, Mattheo walks out onto the balcony and steps out onto the roof, taking a deep breath of the cool night air as he tries to get his thoughts into the right focus.

My eyes flutter open as i sense movement nearby and i turn to look, spotting her sitting on the roof and my gaze drifts down to the blunt in her hand. I stand there in the doorway, watching her for several moments silently. I can't help but stare a bit at how beautiful she is, the slight wind making her hair sway softly. The sight makes my heart ache slightly, guilt and grief filling my chest 

I smile softly as i watch her climb down off the roof, my gaze trailing on her and my thoughts racing as i stare at her. I let out a low breath as i step forward and reach out to gently grab the blunt shes holding in her hand, taking it from her before raising it to my own lips. as i lift it to my mouth to take a deep, long inhale. i feel my body relax slightly as the high from the blunt starts to hit, the guilt and fear slowly fading as my mind becomes hazy and foggy. i watch bella look out at the lake, my eyes trail over her body.

"I'm sorry.....I'm sorry I've caused all of this" i hear her whisper. I watch her silently, my brain not functioning as the high from the blunt sets in. I finally take the blunt from my lips, the smoke slowly blowing out my mouth as I  finally finds my voice.,"You don't need to apologize it's not your fault... I'm the one who's ruined everything......" She shakes her had before responding "If you hadn't met me in our 3rd year none of this would have happened. None of the heartbreak would've happened" I shake my head slightly, taking another hit of the blunt before handing it back to her to take a hit as i speak "Don't blame yourself This has nothing to do with you. It's not your fault. You did nothing wrong. I'm the one who always does everything wrong. I'm the one who ruins everything. This is all my fault." 

"you love her Mattheo, it's obvious...Maybe the love you're feeling for me is really what you are feeling for her" she whispers as she puts the blunt out.

I step forward slightly and reach out gently, wrapping my arms around her waist, pulling her gently towards me, pulling her closer until our bodies are pressed tightly against each other. "What I feel for you has nothing to do with her...You're the one who's in my head all the time. Who's constantly in my thoughts. Who makes my heart skip a beat when I see or hear you. You're all I care about......" I feel my body relax slightly as she leans against me, a rush of calm rushing through me as i gently rest my chin on her head. Closing my eyes, i take a deep slow breath as i let myself enjoy the feeling of having her in my arms again.  "I love you Mattheo Riddle. Forever an always" she whispers. I feel my heart skip a beat as she speaks the words running through my mind and making me feel like I'm floating for a moment before i whisper softly in her ear "I love you Bella..... I love you more than words could ever possibly describe.  Forever and always."