In honour of International Bow Day on August 19th, I’ve decided to delve into the aesthetic most commonly associated with bows: coquette.

Traditionally, "coquette” refers to “a woman who trifles with men’s affections” or “a woman given to flirting or coquetry,” according to the Oxford Dictionary. Yet, in recent times, the coquette aesthetic has evolved from this definition into a celebration of feminism and girlhood. It embodies a wistful reflection of youth, where girls embrace their true selves and joyfully express their femininity. This aesthetic is gaining popularity among Generation Z as a tribute to feminine beauty and self-expression.

The Coquette aesthetic has garnered both praise and criticism. Some view it as an empowering expression of femininity and youthful spirit, while others argue that it echoes historical aesthetics used to uplift white women while marginalising those who didn’t fit societal beauty standards—such as women of colour, those with larger bodies, or those with cellulite. Additionally, it has been compared to the Lolita aesthetic, which has faced criticism for its themes of infantilization and the sexualization of femininity.

However, I see Coquette in a different light—as an empowering celebration of womanhood. It’s not solely about reliving girlhood or adorning ourselves in frills but about showcasing our individuality and self-worth. This aesthetic can be a powerful form of self-expression, not necessarily for the male gaze but for ourselves, celebrating who we are. Dressing for ourselves doesn’t have to mean covering up.

It’s true that Coquette has roots in more problematic spaces, including online communities that emphasised thinness and promoted unhealthy body ideals, particularly within subcultures associated with eating disorders. Historically, it has been largely portrayed through a white lens, though this is beginning to change. Critics have pointed out that Coquette has often emphasised thinness and marginalised those who don’t fit this narrow ideal.

Parallels between Coquette and the Lolita aesthetic are frequently drawn, with early Coquette styles on platforms like Tumblr echoing the romanticization of age gaps and the sexualization of youthful femininity seen in Lolita. Nymphettes, a subset of Coquette, have been criticised for bordering on romanticising paedophilia and large age gaps, as well as glorifying childish fashion.

Nonetheless, much of this criticism stems from the broader issue of the oversexualization of women’s bodies. Coquette is often compared to Nymphettes and Lolita fashion, but fundamentally, Coquette was created to celebrate femininity and girlhood. Its roots can be traced back to the Victorian era, reflecting a tradition of fashion and self-expression that has evolved over centuries. Coquette is an umbrella term encompassing various styles, including cottagecore and “girly” elements like bows and lace.

Ultimately, coquette is a personal and diverse expression of style, attitude, and decoration, reflecting each woman’s unique take on femininity.

So, what are your thoughts on coquette? Is it harmful, or is it a true celebration of femininity?

Written by: Sara Rowan
Edited by: Marlee Potter
Proofread by: Lily