October. 30. It. 2021..

Dear Diary. Last night was the best night ever. Do you wanna know why? Well, last night was the homecoming. My very first homecoming, for me and my best friend. Bestie had an amazing time. We got ready together. And we had an amazing time. We danced the night away. We didn't get home until around 11:30 at night. I was very tired afterwards, but it was so worth it. It was so much fun. People were crowd surfing and yeah, it was a great time.

LUV

~ Ari

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November 26,2021

OK, so. There's been a lot of stuff that's happened. First, Markie and I aren't talking anymore. I blocked them on and stuck Google Hangouts. And I also blocked and deleted his number. And yes, I still like him, so when I see him, my heart hurts. The only Person. Who knows this? Is. My best guy friend. I wanna tell Mark he so badly, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Alright, enough about that. I have no fucking clue what to get my best guy friend for Christmas. Oh, yesterday was Thanksgiving and tomorrow I go dress shopping. OK, another thing. I wanna go to Delaware with my best guy friend.

LUV

~ Enzo

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November 27th, 2021.

Dear Diary. So today I went dress shopping. I got the dress I wanted. Well, not exactly. I got a different dress. A baby blue dress is perfect. I look like Cinderella. Today was also the festival of Lights parade me and Enzo texted for a bit. And. Me and the fam, plus my sister's boyfriend went home. Had dinner and watched old home videos. OK, that's all for now. I'm tired. I'm gonna go to sleep. So, G Night Diary...

LUV

~Ari

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9:52 PM.?

So much for goodnight. I actually have one more thing to add. I still like Markie.

LUV

~Ari

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December 9th, 2021.

OMG it's almost Christmas time and they'll all be close to my Quinceanera. I got my best guy friend a Christmas gift. It's a silver bullet. It's also an ornament as well. I think he will really like it. I got my bestie, a picture frame that has pictures of us, our memories so far. Since I only met her this year, I just met her recently, like only a couple months ago. We don't have that many pictures, but we have quite a few from the homecoming game. Football game and from just random photos we took, so I hope she likes it..

LUV

~Ari

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December 20th, 2021.

So it was a great day. My best guy friend liked his gift. Enzo talked to me, and Bessie's gift is all wrapped. And I'm getting brownies. All my friends are so I jokingly told them to get me Pringles cause I'm going through a Pringles craze right now and what do you know? I got Pringles

LUV

~Ari

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December 31st, 2021. New Year's Eve.

Wow, I can't believe tomorrow's 2022. I got a lot of good stuff for Christmas. Got clothes, books, coloring books, jewelry, art supplies, puzzle puzzle stuff, and a new MP3 plus phone. So it was a good Xmas. I've got $65. I can use that for a Hunter Killer box. Also got fresh from friends. I can't wait for tonight. Penny is gonna sleep over tonight. It's gonna be so much fun. I have a problem though. I still like markie.

LUV

~Ari

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February 13th, 2022

I've been told by multiple people that I need to stop crying over someone who has fallen in love with someone else. My friends have told me multiple times that I need to move on and that I need to start focusing on what's right in front of me now. Why am I saying something now? Well, it's customers Valentine's Day, that one day of the year. Couples show how much they love someone. The day every single soul feels like nothing. I once had someone to celebrate Valentine's Day with, but he's no longer mine. I thought he is my one and only until I saw someone else. But that person loves someone else. I know he loves her more than she could ever imagine. I became extremely happy for the two of them, but my heart still began to break. It's hard to see the one you love fall more and more in love with someone else, but then again, they're perfect for each other and I can be more happy. I'm glad you found someone to care for and to protect. He has no clue how much he's affected her. I really see the changes that have happened. I'm truly happy he found her. I know she'll love and care for him with every bone in her body. I know she'll protect him as long as he's hers. My heart may break, but deep down I also know it's healing. It's healing because I'm happy for him, and that's enough for me. I think this whole complicated relationship with him. Has been the real cause of my heartbreak. Not the relationship he's in, but the pain of knowing he's fine without me. I've started to come to the conclusion that all of this has happened for a reason. What that might be I may never know. And if I ever do figure it out, I think I'll be fine. By some chance that I move past this fully healed, I know I've grown and gained a lot of knowledge about the heart. And how it works in ways you may not want it to. But it will end up coming to peace with. Itself. It may not be what you want it to be, but you end up being fine in the end. My heart may be badly broken, but it will heal at some point. When that is, I'll never know. What I do know? It will be fine. Will you be at peace and able to move on? For I may finally. Find exactly what my heart wants. Someday, and maybe someday, we end up talking again to his girlfriend. I wanna say you're extremely lucky to have someone who loves you. To him, I say, don't break her heart. That's all I really have to say so later.

~ Ari

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4/23/2022.

Dear Diary. Long time no, right? Lol. So there's been a lot going on, some of which is good plus bad, but that's how it is with me. I feel like my Depression is back, but it's focused itself on one thing, and that is markie. I've been thinking about him too much and I know it's not healthy. As I'm writing this, I'm listening to my Shit list. God damn I've never knew I could miss someone this badly. I made a stupid decision because of it. I texted him. I cofessed a whole bunch of shit to him. So he now is saying he's not gonna block my number. But if I'm being honest, I'm gonna write letters to all my ex crushes plus boyfriend. Stay closure. Which is gonna be a lot, The boys are. James, Markey, And Enzo. While I'm at, I might as well do some ex friends too. Annette. Arizona. So basically letters are gonna go to Arizona, Annette. Markie, Lopez. Steve. And James. I think Markie. Out of all of them needs one cause I feel I owe him an explanation. So here goes nothing.

Dear No, can't start off with deer. Let's try again.

Markie

There are a few things on my mind that I need to tell you. One being as time goes on, I can't help falling in love with you. You asked me why I still like to you. Well, until you I found the whole soulmate thing Bullshit. But after I met you, everything changed. I also told you that I was against dating Steve. Because after we broke up, my heart broke and dating someone so close to you would only make it worse. With every new crush and boyfriend I have, I also go back to you. It's a never ending cycle I wish I could break. After everything went down in 8th grade, I've been in bad emotional state. It always seems that when I get down to Delaware, I always have the courage to talk to you. I know I hurt you and I'm sorry for it. But there's just something about you that always brings me back. Like when I had a crush on Enzo, I had thought I gotten over him, but turns out I hadn't. The reason I was so emotional is because I wanted. Enzo and his girlfriend. To be you and me. I was upset about how. We never got To experience. Dating. Like a regular couple. Due to the pandemic that happened in 8th grade. When I found out you had a new girlfriend. I cried so much I couldn't bear the thought of you with somebody else. Now your girlfriend is obsessed with you and is always asking me, how's Makie? Can you tell me how Markie is? Can you talk to him for me? Which, of course I get pissed so much to the point of my shit list Is all I listen to now. It sucks that you're all I think about, and I so wish that we never had met. But I know life would be miserable without you.

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Break time. OK, so reading. Back through the last entry. That I just wrote. I'm so freaking toxic, I can't believe that. I. Went through that and I was like, Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God. I really miss him. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I can't live without him. Like. I'm pathetic. Like I am freaking pathetic. I understand. I'm. I'm only like 14 here, but like. Still. That's not OK. That is not healthy.

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4/24/2022.

Uggh. It's the last day of break. OK, so I had an idea. I'm gonna write down a list of ways to get over Marky and a list of ways to talk. Interact with my crush. That's gonna be on the next two pages, but three major things. My birthday, plus my Quince.

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2:48 PM.

OK, I am not OK. I miss Markie so much. I was watching to all the boys I loved. P.S. I still love you. I started sobbing so much. I think it's because of Marky. I would die for him, literally. I care about this kid so much it's not even funny. I know he's in the past, but I can't get over him and maybe that's the part of growing up. I don't know how I truly feel about somebody until I lose them. I know I have three more years than I can officially kiss Marky goodbye. As much as I want Marky, I know it's not healthy. I need to stop focusing on him and start worrying about me and you start taking care of myself. So diary, I have some rules. My high school break up rules I know it's going to change with. Each new relationship. Heck, I can. Learn from it and keep adding it. As the years go by, so rule 1. Look at the last page of the diary and have a good cry. Oh God, I forgot to have. I have to see him in school tomorrow. Dang it, it's gonna be an awkward. So awkward. Remind me to tell you how it goes. I'm ready to see my crush in art. It's been a whole week. I've literally died inside LOL without seeing him. OK, well this is all for now. I need to get some sleep. So goodnight diary. Love you always and forever.

LUV

~Ari

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05/7/2022.

OK, so update. Me and Steve are not friends. We held hands. I still like him. My birthday is in five days, my party in seven. I think I finally over my crush On JJ.. I don't react anymore. so recently. And by that I mean yesterday I babysat for the. Neighbors and got $70 out of it.

LUV

~Ari

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May. 20th 2022..

Dear Diary.

So Enzo has a new girlfriend. Like, damn, he moves on fast. Anyways, Friday was so funny, so me and bestie are walking to lunch and I see my crush JJ. And so I run up the stairs and run to the library and Bestie. is running right behind. And here's the funny part. My crush saw me like we looked at each other. And. Bestie literally starts going. "Don't be suspicious, Don't be suspicious." And I screamed down the hallway. "I was suspicious." OK, so now to me and my best guy friend. So we're walking in the halls and we see Lopez's girlfriend walk by, hand in hand. So me and My best guy friend both look at each other and go “Ew. But I am really mad at Enzo though, because every time he gets a new girlfriend, he stops talking to me. And it's starting to get annoying. Well, I'm going to stop here for tonight

LUV

~ Ari