Focussing on the focus that is necessary to make spells work (I just couldn't resist, sorry!), there is one sentence from our last lesson that directly comes into my mind.

Your mind must be relatively clear at the moment you are casting a spell

Well, bully for those who actually can make this work. I mean to say, there is so much to see, so much to learn, so many stray thoughts that just keep popping up - so clear your mind. Well. That shouldn't be to hard. I thought. Wrongfully. Thinking of nothing but one thing is the hardest thing ever! You have to think of but one thing for a split second, before your thoughts are allowed to wander again. But just *snap* focus - how is this supposed to work?

Looking back, I did manage to get my spells to work. I certainly was not one of the best students, but I could have done considerably worse. And the spells worked at the end of the lesson, and I was able to reproduce the results. But it could have been better. And if I'll get that focussing to work more easily, it will be better. But how to practice focussing? According to the textbook, there's meditation. Yoga. Gruesome. 'Our natural state is kindness, be one with yourself, try to become a tree' - why wasn't there anything else? That is definitely not my piece of cake. Honestly. But there seems to be no easy alternative. So I'll have to make it work.

Trying to find as many books as possible on meditation, I set myself a goal for the coming weekend: I'd start to meditate. Every day. Until it worked. However long that would take. To be honest, I was close to actually giving up on Friday afternoon, after about 10 minutes. It had to work somehow. It shouldn't be to hard to find my heartbeat, to calm down for a while, to just... but why don't I hear a thing? Mum always said that it was easy to go into a trance, and it wasn't too hard when she forced me to go to her yoga class. But why did it work at home and not here? Why is it impossible to just call her and ask? There isn't a single working telephone around here at Hogwarts!  Home... Like... like I felt when we were trying to find our cores! I did find my heartbeat somewhere along the way, and I should find it again if I listened carefully enough. It was easy enough to find my core, to feel the heat of the magic surrounding me. But how to concentrate on anything but this wonderful warmth when being here? I had to find a different kind of centre, that would be the only way. Closing my eyes, physically and mentally, I started to imagine the place around my core to expand. I imagined a connecting door, with an instant connection. And in this room I tried to store my entire awareness, my thoughts and feelings, what the chair felt like underneath me, how the wind rustled my hair, the way the book's weight was slowly getting more pronounced - everything. Opening my eyes carefully, I crossed my fingers and toes, hoping that it had worked.

A door had materialised at my left side, an antique, intricate design, the very door I wanted to have for my room but that wouldn't fit. It was just the perfect door leading to my place. Taking a deep breath in my mind, I approached it. Very slowly, I touched the handle. How would this help me to file away any stray thoughts, to focus on multiple things? I probably would have to organise the lot, so it could be handled more efficiently. Filing away everything that wasn't needed at the moment, that I would not need in class. This sounded doable. A little firmer I grabbed the handle, moving the door ever so slightly to take a glimpse to what waited for me inside - only to topple back, crashing backwards in the physical world. Lucky that I didn't stay in the library but that I was working at my desk instead. It would have been too embarassing otherwise.  I never imagined that there would be so much information, and more importantly, almost nothing but chaos! Steadying myself, I prepared to dive into that chaos. It would take weeks to master it all, but as you say, every path starts with but a single step. In fact, taking a closer look one can easily see that there is some kind of system in place. Only that it does not work, and the organised area is still miniscule. So this is how I actually manage to focus enough to make things work. Clearing the place up a bit, it should be much easier!

When finally handing the books back to the Library the coming monday, my process was still miniscule. However, I could recognise that something had happened. Now to try and see if it helped. Charms lesson is coming up soon, and we'll practice something new for sure! And I'll definitely try to get goíng, this chaos can't be helpful. Maybe it'll help me to get some peace of mind and to be more organised. Well, you can't blame me for hoping.