Listen up, I have been watching this movie on Netflix about detectives, this is basically it, I am now on my own secret mission. Grabbing a scrap piece of paper from the printer, I wrote down all the things to do this Christmas. Here, let me show you.

List:

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  Decorate christmas tree

  
  


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  Go shops, steal presents

  
  


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  Throw snowballs

  
  


• 
  

  Buy PS

  
  


• 
  

  Bully younger children

  
  


• 
  

  Pretend I’m homeless and get cheap food

  
  


• 
  

  Look through mum/dad room

  
  


• 
  

  Find mum/dad

  
  

Yeah, yeah, I know, my handwriting is pretty rubbish but as long as I can read it, I'm alive. Just so you know, I was never really dead. Anyway, onto the serious things. Hmmmm, what should I do first?

I improved my list and put them in the order, let me show you.

List:

• 
  

  Pretend I’m homeless and get cheap food

  
  


• 
  

  Go shops, steal presents

  
  


• 
  

  Buy (steal) PS

  
  


• 
  

  Decorate Xmas tree

  
  


• 
  

  Throw snowballs

  
  


• 
  

  Bully children

  
  


• 
  

  Look mum/dad room

  
  


• 
  

  Find mum/dad 

  
  

To do the first thing on my list, I'm gonna need to get myself a little dirty. So, I went to the toilet and scrunched up my hair, smacked makeup on me and did a loose ponytail. Secondly, I went to the living room and grabbed two blankets and a pillow, you know, to look poor, duh! Right, it’s time to struggle and get used to surviving outside. I stepped out and already the wind made my whole body shiver madly.

I really didn’t know how I was going to get money but I was sure that I could figure something out. Yep, I did, hiding my phone beneath the blanket, I searched for some funny riddles for me to perform.  These are a few of them:

A wealthy family lived in a big circular house. They had a maid, a butler, and a gardener. The parents were going to a party, so they tucked the younger kids into bed and kissed them goodnight and said goodbye, and kissed the older kids goodnight. When the parents came home, all the kids were gone—they had been kidnapped. The authorities ask the butler, maid, and gardener what they were doing at the time of the kidnapping. The butler says he was organising the library, the maid says she was dusting the corners, and the gardener says he was watering the plants. Who’s lying and actually kidnapped the kids?

Answer: The maid, there are no corners in  a circular house

You walk into an old horror house. It has no power or plumbing. Once inside, you see three doors. Each door has a number on it. Behind each door is a way for you to die. Behind door number one, you die by getting eaten by a lion. Behind door number two, you die by getting murdered. Behind door number three, you die by electric chair. You can’t turn back, so you have to go through a door. Which door do you go through?

Answer: three, because there is no power

 A woman wants to enter an exclusive club, but she doesn’t know the password. A man walks to the door and the doorman says 12, the man says 6, and is let in. Another man walks up and the doorman says 6, the man says 3, and is let in. Thinking she’s figured it out, she walks up to the door and the doorman says 10, she says 5, and she isn’t let in. What should she have said?

Answer: 3, the number of letters of the number, the doorman says

You walk into a room and see a bed. On the bed, there are two dogs, five cats, a giraffe, six cows, and a goose. There are also three doves flying above the bed. How many legs are on the floor?

Answer: 6, 4 bed legs + your 2 legs

Anyway, that doesn’t matter but I did make a lot of money by just saying some riddles. I’m not lying, it’s true, I gained 40 pounds in total. Not bad, right?