Chapter Twenty-One - Laura’s Memory.

February 11th, 1973.

Three years ago.

A wide grin spreads over my face as I awake, and at once I reach for the letter I tucked underneath my pillow last night, unfolding it to skim read then clasping it to my chest with joy. I won it! I won the award!

I never thought I’d win it - there were so many Muggles there, well-versed in music and dance and then there was me, inexperienced and nervous - but somehow I did it. Leaping out of bed, the first thing I do is take three sure steps across the room and reach to pull the lid of my grand piano back to expose shining black and white keys, freshly polished yesterday. I sit down carefully on the stool and move my hands gently to place them on the keys, glancing up at the sheet music and beginning to play the first chords of ‘Au Claire de la Lune’ by Debussy. It doesn’t express my mood, no, but it calms me into a state in which I can finally reflect upon my first, but hopefully not last, success. I played this piece in the competition as well - there were two categories in the contest and I entered and won both - the music one where you had to play a professional piece of music on a mainstream instrument, and the dance one, when you had to present a personally choreographed dance in any style. I chose Ballet and Piano, of course - and ended up winning first place in both categories! I still can’t believe it - I only got the owl last night, too late to tell any of my family. But now I can - now I can show them that being the youngest child in a family of five successful siblings doesn’t mean you can’t be successful too!

But before I can finish my playing and race off to tell them, my Mother comes to me. Opening my door, she squints from where she stands sleepily. ‘’Laura, what on earth are you doing playing music at this hour?’’ She questions in her thick scottish accent.

I glance at the clock. It’s six o’clock - yes, perhaps a little early. Abandoning my playing, I jump up. ‘’I’m sorry Mother - but look!’’ I grab the piece of paper announcing my win and graduation from the part-time muggle music school I attend. ‘’I won! In both categories!’’

My Mother just blinks - doesn’t even take the paper. ‘’Lovely, dear, but get dressed and get downstairs.’’

‘’What?’’ I look at her in disbelief. She should be pleased - she should be as excited as I am. But her answer to my question explains it all.

‘’Your sister has just got back from France.’’ Her eyes suddenly brighten and she looks much more wide awake, as if reminding herself finally woke her up - but not the news of my success. ‘’She’s been promoted and will be going to Egypt to be a curse breaker.’’ She looks at me and smiles softly. ‘’Isn’t it wonderful news?’’

‘’Yes.’’ I say quietly, slowly lowering my arm, which had be exhibiting the paper signifying my victory, letting it fall to hang by my side.

‘’Well, come and congratulate her Laura. Jemima will want to see you.’’ Says my Mother, withdrawing. I watch her go bitterly, falling back to flop onto my piano stool. Of course Jemima will want to see me - she wants to rub her success in my face and call me ‘little sis’ to patronise me, as if I was still five and not thirteen. My excitement suddenly becomes a writhing mass of hurt as I regard my Mother’s reaction to my win. But there’s still hope - I’ll go and see my Father - he’ll be happy for me, I know he will - he’ll congratulate me.

But, racing to the study at the end of a long corridor at the top of our large house once dressed, I find my Father to be to busy to accommodate me. As I slow to a halt and open the door, he’s sat at his desk, fiery red beard and mane of hair carefully groomed, sat in a suit and apparently consulting my elder brother, Murtagh.

‘’Hallo Father, Murtagh - what are you doing up this early?’’ I say, bouncing into the room, smile wide as I regard them with sparkling eyes.

My Father barely lifts his head. ‘’Lauretta, I am talking to your brother at the moment - this is not a good time.’’

I crease my brow, looking from my brother to my father. ‘’Is something wrong?’’

‘’We’re just busy, Laura. Now shoo.’’ Puts in Murtagh from where he sits in the chair facing my father at the desk. Strangely, he looks slightly happy, which is unusual for my intense, ambitious older brother.

‘’Your brother has been promoted in the Ministry and I have to go through legal papers and get them done before he goes to work.’’ Adds my Father, smiling now. ‘’He is now chief assistant to the Scottish Minister.’’

I feel so small, standing there and clutching my sheet of paper. ‘’I...I won the music contest.’’ I say, not really knowing why I’m speaking and aware that it cannot match up to the news of success for my Sister and Brother. ‘’And the dance. I got first place.’’

My Father looks at me briefly. ‘’Congratulations. But I believe you need to keep working at it, Laura, you’re not good enough yet.’’

‘’Yes.’’ I nod, mouth dry. Slowly, I turn away, saying flatly as I exit the room; ‘’Congratulations, Murtagh.’’

I’m met with more crushing reactions when I enter the long dining room of our house, greeted by the site of another sibling and his friends and Jemima, my oldest sister, talking intensely with my Mother in the corner of the room, though both are smiling, my Mother’s expression containing fair amounts of pride as well. Another older brother, Bryce, acknowledges me as I seat myself at the large table for breakfast, and since he’s my favourite sibling, I feel a glimmer of hope that he might prove his Hufflepuff worth and congratulate me on my success.

‘’Hey Bryce, you know that music contest I entered? I got first place.’’ I hold out the paper and smile widely. His eyes move to glance at it.

‘’Congrats Sis.’’ He says emptily before a friend of his, staying for the holidays, says something to him and his attention is diverted. Bitterly, I take the piece of paper away and walk over to the already roaring fire, waiting until our House Elf, Baird, has piled on more coal and then throwing the certificate into the fire. It doesn’t matter to anyone anymore. Not to my Mother, not to my Father, not to any of my siblings, that’s clear. In the background, I hear my Bryce’s friend comment in a low voice to him.

‘’Not to be rude or anything - but how is your sister musical? She seems rather a dull thing - and dull people can’t be musical.’’

Tears smarting in my eyes, partly from the woodsmoke of the fire, partly from my own emotions, I know that the certificate can mean nothing to me. It’s not good enough. If I’m ever going to impress my parents - or any of my family, for that matter, I have to match the success of my siblings. Like my Father said, I have to work hard - harder than any of them, to be the best. And then comes the first resolution in my life - to work as hard as I can to be the best. Because only the best matter.