-Entertainment Section-

This section is a wonderfully entertaining jumble of things put together to hopefully amuse readers, containing Harry Potter jokes, funny columns, memes and more - there are changes made each week so that's why this introduction lacks a list. The writers for this section are:

Dean McCormick

Lilia Le Fay

Alyssa Ella Piper

Maria Fell

Debanessa Gilson

Tali Mere

Entertainment Column 1: Ah, Sweet Memories!

Written by Dean McCormick

Jokes:

A ginger with two friends. 

What did the comedian say to Harry Potter? 

Why so Sirius? 

Why does Sirius Black have so many girlfriends? 

Once you go black you siriusly dont go back! 

Entertainment Column 3: Muggle Gaming

(Written by Tali Mere)

Hello
my fellow Muggle Gamers and welcome back to my Gaming Column. Last week I wrote
about some of my trolling experiences in Roblox. But what about my trolling in
World of Warcraft where my in-game character was drunk?

This
took place in about June for a timeline of 6 hours. Of course I won't tell you
all every last detail to the bone because then I'd think I would bore you all.
Two major events happened with my friend Aqua… It all started when we met up at
Goldshire’s Inn, Lion Pride’s Inn, in Elwynn Forest outside of Stormwind City.

Before
I really begin the story I should tell you a little about my character. A level
29 female Discipline Priest. I bet you're thinking why would Tali be a healer?
In all honesty, it's pretty easy for me. In dugeons all I have to do is heal
people and myself instead of tanking (take most of the heavy hits) or DPSing
(damage per second). Being a DPS is quite challenging especially since I don't
have much power over my health.

As
a Priest I only have to worry about health. Every once in awhile with a party I
will have defend myself and heal others including myself at the same time. If
you play WoW (World of Warcraft) and don't appreciate Healers make sure you're
more thoughtful to them. It's actually just as hard as DPSing or Tanking
(they're the front line, they still attack which is DPSing). Especially when
something is attacking you, your finger movement and speed has to multiply
rapidly.

Anyways,
my friend was Aqua was a level 15 Alliance Paladin Pandaren. She was a Healer
as well. Anyways, setting out to the Inn I got an invite to an Alliance (it's
like a Dorm). I gradually accepted and I got Aqua an invite as well. We set off
to an RP (role play) Greet and Meet they were holding. It was on a ship…

Knowing
me, you will know that it'll probably end in me screwing up something. Aqua and
I RPed with our new guild members for a few minutes and when we got bored we
wandered outside. Outside.

Onto
a deck with no railings and deep water off to the sides.

To
this day whenever I think of the memory I laugh at my stupidity and everything
I went to to cover it up. In fact, as I write this I’m laughing hysterically. I
just had to stand at the very end of the deck and look at the view. Apparently,
I just couldn't gaze at it from a distance.

I fell off.

Accidentally
pressing the ‘W’ button that pushes you forward I fell into the water. My Guild
Mates swiftly found out I had fell in the water because Aqua was making fun of
me. My Guild Leader asked,”Keliandrey, what are you doing?”

Trying
to hide from my shame I replied,”The water looked glorious so I thought I'd go
for a swim..” But apparently my response didn't satisfy him because he wondered
why I was ‘swimming’ while mounted on my horse. I should probably explain
Mounts to you. Mounts are animals that you can ride on either in water, land,
or flying. Since I was only level 29 I only had the option of land Mounts. My
mount was a horse whom I named Cinnamon.

“Cinnamon
needed the exercise.” By this time, all my guild mates thought I was crazy. Of
course I didn't intentionally do this but from what I said they thought I did
do it on purpose. Aqua and I were PMing (Private Messaging) and we were
laughing so hard. I had even fallen out of my chair and she had face planted
into her keyboard typing letters into the Guild Chat embarrassing herself. You
could say we were now the Guild Clowns.

My
Guild Leader asked if I needed help which I reluctantly replied with a yes. For
the life of me, I could not find a way back into the ship. As soon as I got
back on board the ship Aqua told them we were going to RP with some friends of
ours. We weren't really however, we just wanted the hell out of there.

This
is where the real trolling begins. Because we decided to go to a bar and get
drunk. I got lost all over Stormwind City and kept going up to guys and
saying,”Hi Baby, I missed you all day. Where have you been? Everyone at the
Chapel is waiting for you!” Implying that we were ready for him to be at the
wedding. Some men I said,”I’m pregnant, and you're the father.” Let's just say
I creeped so many people out. I even played the pregnant one on a female and
she just walked off.

Of
course getting drunk in-game messes up your screen and everything becomes
blurred together. I pretended my character was drunk and delusional like any
good Roleplayer. But I may have taken it too far.. At one point I did exotic
dancing for money at the Inn. I'm not ashamed though, I did earn some gold (the
highest currency in the game).

Things
get a little more violent from there so here’s a good place to end my
storytelling! I hope you enjoyed my adventures and want to read it again next
week!

Skyrim

Pick-Up
Line from Dragon Age: Did you cast Chain Lightning? Because there's a spark
between us.

Gaming
Term of the Issue:

DPS:
Acronym meaning Damage Per Second. Often used in role playing games such as
World of Warcraft, Defense of the Ancients, and Diablo. Used to measure how
much damage per second a player is inflicting.

Last
week there was a poll asking if Xbox or PlayStation is better. I was the only
one who voted so PlayStation wins the poll! I guess we don't have many Muggle
Gamers.

If
you play World of Warcraft and are in need of a friend submit your Battletag
here and I’ll match you up with another player:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1qDsM2ZNAxqeqhElv0wKzAcw43XhhSA1ZA-HM5IU4QM4/prefill

Thank
you all for reading! Come back next week to look at some more pick-up lines!

Guess the Second Generation Character:

Link to form here: LINK

-Lilia Le Fay

---

Harry Potter Scene –
Snape’s Past (in honor of Alan Rickman. RIP)

Lets walk over to the dark side with Bellatrix Lestrange....

Born in 1951 Bellatrix Lestrange was born to her parents Cygnus Black III and Druella Black. Her parents raised her to be proud of her pure blood. Eldest daughter of the black clan and also sister to Andromeda and Narcissa Black. But never speaking to Andromeda because she married a muggle.

Bellatrix Lestrange was given the best that money can buy. She was put into the Slytherin house of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She soon there after married Rodolphus Lestrange, who was also a wealthy pure blood slytherin. Bellatrix showed no sign of affection for her husband unlike her sisters.

Bellatrix and her husband soon became with a few members in a group and became death eaters for the dark lord. She had always showered him with affection unlike her husband but she always believe he-who-must-not-be-named was her one true love but he would never be able to return the favor.

She remained loyal to him through the wars and was loyal even when Harry Potter defeated him. She and a few other members that were loyal to he-who-must-not-be-named they kidnapped together Alice and Frank Longbottom who just had a son together. They tortured them to gather information on he-who-must-not-be-named location. 

But they never gave the information and the memory left them leaving them to spend their days in a hospital unknowing of their son. 

Bellatrix between the wars was sentenced to life in Azkaban with no chance of release. In 1995 when he-who-must-not-be-named returned to power she broke free from Azkaban with ten other inner circle death eaters.

Later that year she was involved in yet another war where he-who-must-not-be-named worked hard to defeat the department of mysteries. She had found Neville Longbottom and tortured him just like she did to his parents.

Bellatrix saw her niece and battled and defeated her and then moved on to Sirius, and once again he was defeated and killed.

1996 in Spinner's end with her unloyal sister Narcissa Malfoy mother of Draco Malfoy wanted to be protected so she and Narcissa did the Unbreakable Curse.