You say that you plan to go camping one day
In a tropical rain forest, far, far away.
Let me tell you what happened to me when I went
To a rain-forest campsite and lived in a tent.

The rain dripped incessantly down from the trees,
And the mercury climbed to a hundred degrees!
And it rarely descended to eighty at night.
There were millions of insects, and all of them bite!

One night, as I lay in my tent, fast asleep,
I awoke with a start as I felt my flesh creep!
For all over my body and under my pants
There were thousands of ravenous red driver ants!

As I rushed for the river, they pierced through my skin
And then tore out the flesh as I threw myself in!
For the river, I hoped, would protect me from harm
'Till a crocodile came and made off with my arm!

I staggered ashore and then raced to my car!
Leaving clothes and provisions I drove away far,
'Till at last I could laugh, from my hospital bed,
That whoever goes there must have rocks in his head.