TW AND CW: mentions of death

Ana could not sleep. 

No matter whether she turned on the ceiling fan, or pulled a thick blanket over herself, or anything at all.

Ana simply could not sleep.

She had been given one of the Potters' extra guest bedrooms.

While she had no problem with the bedroom itself, she just couldn't fall asleep, no matter how hard she shut her eyes.

Ana sat up in her bed and pulled the covers around her tightly. She didn't know what to do anymore. All hope had been leached from her.

Mrs Potter had already let her know that if she had trouble sleeping or if she felt ill, Ana could simply head downstairs to the kitchen counter, where remedial potions were placed.

Ana, as much as she needed one, didn't go. She had never been scared of the dark before, or being alone, but she just didn't want to walk down to the kitchen alone.

Finally, Ana's body reached such a high point of anxiety and overexertion that she simply passed out on her mattress a few hours after midnight.

Ana woke incredibly early, with only 2 hours of sleep in her. She padded down the steps at 5:30 AM, when everyone was still asleep, and went outside to watch the sunrise.

Every ounce of happiness she had left in her had gone. Ana felt empty, hollow, like she could never be whole again.

She felt like she was overreacting, Ana had managed to feel better within quite a little time after her mother's death. Yet, she was closer to Alwena than she had ever been to Arnie- why was she feeling so depressed?

Ana wrapped her fingers around the compass necklace her mother had given her. She always put it on when she woke up, every morning.

Ana's gaze flickered over to the birch tree where Arnie lay, hopefully in peace.

Something warm was placed on her shoulder, and a smell of old books and chocolate filled the air around her.

Ana didn't even have to turn around to figure out who it was, but she did so anyways.

"R-r-remus?" she whispered, her voice cracking slightly.

Remus smiled up at her, golden brown hair a floppy mess as usual, but his smile seemed a little strained, even forced. "How are you?"

Ana pulled her knees even closer to her chest. "Fine. Weren't you coming tomorrow?"

"I was, but then James and Sirius sent me this," Remus said, handing Ana a piece of parchment that he took out of his jeans pocket.

Ana took it and read it.

Dear Moony,

There's been an emergency. If you can, please come ASAP. 
Bring plenty of chocolate. We're going to need it.

-Prongs & Padfoot

Ana gave a forced smile, and returned the paper to Remus.

He sat down next to Ana on the grass. "What happened? The letter sounded so urgent!"

Ana couldn't bring herself to speak. Instead, she jerked her chin in the direction of the gravestone.

Remus looked up, and his face fell. "Who?"

Ana didn't want to tell the whole story again, including the part about who Arnie actually was, but Remus deserved to know.

Ana paused before she started. "How do I know you're Remus?"

"Your favorite colors are yellow ochre and coral red," Remus said, a weak smile surfacing. "And who else would know you were so picky about having peas in your casserole?"

"And how do you know it's me?" Ana countered.

"What is the birthday present you gave me two years ago?"

"A polaroid camera, and you thought the box I put it in was the gift!"

Ana felt a small warmth spiral up her stomach, but it was quickly stopped when her eyes flickered back to the gravestone.

Ana told Remus the entire story, leaving out no details at all. Remus was a great listener. He nodded thoughtfully at all the right parts, and squeezed Ana's shoulder at the parts when he thought she would need to most emotional comfort.

After she was done, Remus handed her a Kit-Kat and took one from his knapsack himself.

After a moment or two of solitary chewing on the chocolate wafers, Remus struck up the conversation again.

"It happened to me too," he said.

Ana paused in her act of devouring the rest of her Kit-Kat. Remus couldn't have meant the ex-Death Eater godfather, so of course he meant...

"Mrs Lupin?" she whispered.

Remus nodded slowly. "Killed by some Muggle-hunters."

"How-" Ana struggled to find the right words. "How are you still so cheerful?"

"Mum would never have wanted me to dwell on her death for more than an hour or two," Remus said with a chuckle. "She would have said, 'Well, Remus, you better roll up your sleeves and get back to work! Live your life without dwelling, and you better finish your winter homework soon, or that progress report'll be in your face soon!'"

Ana chuckled too. "Sounds like her. Kind, but incredibly sassy. I see where you get it from."

Already, Ana was feeling in a much more better mood.

She, once again, would never feel the same again, but she could try. 

And as Hope Lupin once said, "Remus John Lupin, if you don't even try to finish that winter break homework, I'll do it myself and give you a T in every subject this semester!"

Thanks for reading this incredibly depressing chapter, and I apologize if it wasn't my best, I've just had a very tiring first week of school.

Next update'll be next weekend!

Love you all :)

-J.W.