TW AND CW: mentions of underage drinking, heavy cursing, mature jokes

Lana was beginning to fall asleep on the chairs at the snack table, so Ana thought it was a good time to go back to the Hufflepuff common room.

She shook Lana awake and dragged her to the common room.

"Aren't you- yawn- coming to bed too?" Lana asked, stretching.

"I'm still a little hungry," Ana said. "I'm gonna go grab something to eat. You go on to bed."

Lana nodded, and without another word, went upstairs to the 5th year's girl's dorms.

Ana went back to the Great Hall to grab a snack, and she was in the middle of looking through the cheese platter when she heard a grunt behind her.

She turned around. Sirius and Marlene looked like they were supporting the weight of Lily and James, who were snoring away in the middle of the Blackinnon sandwich.

"Sirius- Marlene- why are you two holding James and Lily up like they're drunk?" 

"Because they are," Marlene grumbled. "Can you help us? I feel like I'm carrying a rhino."

"Don't forget, I'm in the same boat as you are," Sirius muttered, swinging his arm over James' shoulder and started to drag him in the direction of the Gryffindor common room, which, unfortunately, was a little far away from the Great Hall.

Ana rolled her eyes. "Get back over here, Sirius. I'm gonna show you a magic trick."

Sirius turned around and raised his eyebrows skeptically.

Ana pulled her wand out and waved it, muttering under her breath. 

Two stretchers popped into existence on the ground.

"Put them in them," Ana said, helping Marlene and Sirius haul Lily and James onto the stretchers.

"Levioso!" Ana muttered, and the stretchers gradually floated upwards, following the point of Ana's wand.

~…~…~…~…~…~…~…~…~…~…~…~…~…~…~…~…~…~…~…~…~…~…~…~…~…~

When they reached the Gryffindor common room, Marlene was completely spent and turned in for the night.

Sirius and Ana flopped onto the warm couch.

"I feel dead inside," Sirius grumbled.

"Join the group," Ana said.

"Very funny."

"Also, can I ask you what you were doing hauling around a drunk couple, aka your best friends?"

"Marlene and I were the only sane/sober people at that ball," Sirius sighed. "Peter was dancing with his girlfriend, Remus was sitting in the corner looking like a ball of generic grumpiness, Alice and Frank were slightly drunk, and Lily and James were very drunk."

"At that point, no one but me and Marlene could be trusted to take them and their empty bottles of Ogden's Old Firewhiskey back to the common room."

"Lily, Alice, and Frank?" Ana said skeptically. "Drunk? I mean, James, I get, but those three?"

"That's what we thought," Sirius said with a sigh. "We didn't believe it ourselves, until Marlene walked in on Lily taking shots out of a cow-shaped mug."

Ana facepalmed. "I don't know whether to be amused or concerned."

"Join the club," Sirius said, mimicking Ana's voice from earlier.

"Oh, shut up."

There passed a long moment of silence.

"I wonder why Remus was sitting all by himself," Ana pondered out loud.

Sirius jumped to his feet. "Ok, that's it! If you two are in a fucking fight, at least tell us! We may be shits, but we can still help."

Ana wanted to make an angry retort, but there was no reason to. Just more people angry and hurt.

"You're so dramatic," Ana said, rolling her eyes. "We're not in a fight. Nothing's even happened!"

"The entire school noticed, Aurie," Sirius pointed out. "I even saw Flitwick and McGonagall making bets on when you two would get back together."

"We were never together," Ana muttered under her breath.

Sirius didn't seem to hear. "You two were perfectly fine! You had a good friendship and you shared books! Where are the two bookworms now? One of them is being Grumpy the Dwarf. and the other is talking to me about why her heart ISN'T broken."

Ana wasn't backing down off of her original claim. "Nothing happened, Pads! Geez!"

"Ana," Sirius said, sitting back down on the couch and sighing. He almost never called her Ana anymore, always Aurie. It was simply her name now. "Please... just tell me what happened. I won't interfere in your drama. I just want to know, for the sake of my two closest friends. If any of you get hurt in this- whatever's going on- then none of us would ever stop blaming ourselves."

Ana probably looked like she was about to pop a blood vessel. She sat down. "Fine. But you dare tell anyone, including Remus, I'll come for you."

"You can't even get into the boy's dorms," Sirius said in a sing-song voice under his breath.

"Actually, I can," Ana said with a smug smile. "But we were discussing something else. Speaking of which, can we not discuss this?"

"We're going to talk about it, Ana," Sirius said seriously.

A/n: don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh- I'M LAUGHING 

"Now, tell me the whole story. Please."

Ana did, as much as she didn't want to. Sirius just seemed like the sort of person she could spill all her secrets to, and he, as crazy as he could be, would give her a piece of advice that would stick with her forever.

"Hmm," said Sirius thoughtfully. "Ok. Ana?"

"Yes?"

"This is not you at all."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," Sirius clarified. "That if it was another boy doing this to one of your friends, you would have either kicked him in the nuts or critisized his-"

He said a word which made Ana choke, and passerby in the common room look at him oddly.

"I don't deny it, I probably would-" Ana admitted.

"So why didn't you do it to Remus?" Sirius said, furrowing his brow. "He's a kid who shamelessly broke your heart. He deserved to be kicked in the nuts."

"Er- no," Ana said. "He's my best friend. I wouldn't do that to him."

"Maybe you should. I ought to talk to him myself."

"Please don't."

"Listen, Aurie," Sirius said, sighing. "You like him, don't you?"

Ana tilted her head, nodded slowly.

"Do you think he likes you?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Why else would he- you know- walk away?"

"Embarrassment," Sirius suggested. "Humbleness. You know, the , 'you're too good for me', 'you deserve someone better' shit."

"I mean- that IS what he said to me."

"So? What are you gonna do?"

Sirius had given her an odd, but freeing, pep talk.

"Punch him, then talk it out," Ana said, her usual grin slowly forming.

Sirius high-fived her. "And for the record, I won't actually talk to Remus about this, but I will give him withering looks every now and then."

Ana laughed. "Thank you, Sirius."

"What can I say?" Sirius said, grinning. "Being awesome and deep is simply my specialty."

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS BOOK

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I can't believe how far this book has gone!

Thank you so much, and I truly mean it :)

Love, J.W.