TW AND CW: light to heavy swearing

"Remuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" yelled Ana, running down the corridors, pulling up her trousers (yayyyyy no dress code) to run faster. "I got you somethingggggggggggg!"

Remus turned around, clutching his books to his side. The crowd of people nearby parted and looked at Ana. Remus turned red. "No," he muttered. "She is not-"

"Ahem," said Ana loudly. "Our kind Remus J. Lupin was wonderful enough to get me a dwarf poem on Valentine's Day. But seeing as it is Remus' 15th birthday, we're getting him a dwarf poem as well. Vinnie?"

A dwarf came out from behind her.

"I am Vinnie," stated Vinnie.

"Hi, Vinnie," said Ana kindly. "Can you give us your poem?"

Vinnie nodded. He Held up a piece of parchment.

"To Remoo Josephine Loopy," stated Vinnie loudly.

"Every day and every night

He has read an endless supply of literature

He has read Jane Austen

He has read Emily Dickinson

He has read J.R.R. Tolkein

He has read it all

But the one thing he has not read

Is his inability to get mad at people

He smiles when his chocolate is stolen

He smiles when his best friend Ana dies

He smiles at everything

Thus, the story of our weird-arse Remu."

Remus turned a completely maroon shade of red. "Murder me."

"I said the same thing when you did this to me," said Ana with a grin. "Karma's a bitch."

She stalked off to her next class.

Which was, coincidentally, the same as Remus'.

When Remus walked into his Ancient Runes class, he saw Ana sitting on the chair next to his with an evil grin.

He sat down and whispered, "I hate you."

"You know you love me," snickered Ana.

"Shut up."

When Professor Oleander walked up to her desk to pick up her wand, they saw her fingers brushing against an envelope.

She paused. Then she picked up the envelope and opened it, reading the letter inside.

Remus saw Professor Oleander fighting a grin and turned to Ana. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," said Ana innocently.

Professor Oleander placed the envelope back onto her desk, tucking the letter safely into her robe pocket. "Professor Dumbledore has requested that we do a review of all we have learnt so far in class. Please close your books. We're going to take a look at some of our harder runes."

Professor Oleander was definitely smiling now.

Ana and Remus tucked their books back into their bags and the class turned to the front.

"What does eihwaz mean?" asked Professor Oleander primly. "Anyone?"

Remus and Ana jolted up their hands before anyone else could.

Remus glanced at Ana suspiciously. Normally, she was napping on her desk or doodling on spare parchment in her classes, not participating.

"Miss Miracle," said Professor Oleander. 

"Eihwaz means defense," stated Ana clearly. "It can easily be mixed up with ehwaz, which means partnership."

Remus was completely befuddled now. Ana had the shortest memory-span of anyone he had ever met. What was she doing, answering every possible question... correctly, too?

Just to see what he could find out from her suspicious behavior, he said, "No, eihwaz means partnership and ehwax means defense."

"That's incorrect, Mister Lupin," said Professor Oleander primly. "15 points to Hufflepuff."

Remus gaped. "But it's correct!"

"You dare talk back to a teacher, Mister Lupin?" said Professor Oleander. "5 points!"

"To Gryffindor or from Gryffindor?" replied Remus sassily.

"From!" said Professor Oleander, trying her best to make her nostrils flare in apparent anger. "This is disrespect! Can you go to the headmaster's office? Now, please!"

"Nah," said Remus, scrunching up his nose. "I'd rather not."

"It wasn't a question!"

"It sure sounded like one."

"I GOT IT!" shrieked Ana with laughter. 

Remus blanched white. "What?"

"I got you on video," snorted Ana, holding up a dusty Canon camera. "Sassy Remu Lupin in action."

Professor Oleander could no longer hold it in. She giggled and giggled until she was bent over in laughter.

The whole class seemed to have been informed on Ana's plan. They had been holding in laughs since they entered the classroom.

Remus blinked. "It's like you all hate me."

"Not all of us, Mister Lupin," said Professor Oleander, now straightening up and trying not to break out in a burst of giggles again. "I think it's just your girlfriend targeting you, at this point."

Ana and Remus turned a mixture of pale white and tomato red. 

"What?" said Ana. "Oh, he's not my-"

"And she's not my-"

"Yeah," ended Ana. "He's just a friend."

"Ah, I remember when my husband and I were 'just friends'," said Professor Oleander in reminiscing tones, her pale grey eyes glinting. "Now we have 3 kids."

Ana gagged. "Please, get that image out of my mind."

"She doesn't even know my favorite color," said Remus, still a pale white.

"Forest-green," said Ana instinctively. 

Remus' jaw dropped. "I never even told you-"

"Literally everything you own is green."

"I don't-"

"What color sweater are you wearing, Remus?" said Ana coolly.

"Plaid?" Remus answered hesitantly.

Everyone in the class was staring at them, breaking into silent giggles.

Especially Professor Oleander.

"Mister Lupin," she said. "Plaid is not a color."

Remus glared at Ana. "It's dark green and brown. Now please, shut up."

"Remus, we don't tell our classmates to shut up," said Ivy loudly from the corner. 

"Yeah, Remus!" said Sage, snickering.

The whole class broke out into yells of, "Yeah, Remus!"

"Alright, alright!" Professor Oleander clapped her hands together. "Quiet down. We do have to study a LITTLE."

The whole class groaned and Professor Oleander tutted. "We've had plenty of fun already. We're gonna do a quick round of Popcorn."

Popcorn was a game Professor Oleander had invented in which she called out a student's name and gave them a rune. They had to translate it to English and then  the Professor would move onto another student.

And she always played some hit from the 70's in the background.

Today, she flicked her wand at the gramophone in the corner and it started playing...

A/n: ik this song isn't from the 70's but just bare with me 😑

'We Didn't Start The Fire'.

But it sounded different.

It was... Ana's recorded voice.

"Not again," groaned Remus, burying his face into his hands.

"'Jamie Potter, Siri Black, Remmy Lupin, Petey Cat,'" Ana's voice blared on the gramophone.

Professor Oleander seemed to have been expecting this, but she didn't mind.

"'Lily Evans, Mar, our girl, Alice of Wonderland,'" Ana's voice continued screeching.

"Why?" was the one simple word Remus asked Ana.

"Because," Ana said simply.

"'REMU IS 15!'" Ana screeched. "'HE'S ALWAYS BEEN A VERY BOOKY KID, REMU IS 15! HE'S NOT 16, SO HE CAN'T DRIVE A MUGGLE CAR YET!'"

The song continued for a couple of verses until Professor Oleander shut it off and actually started teaching her lesson, saying that "Hufflepuff is awarded 5 points for creativity".

When class was dismissed, Ana pulled Remus aside. "I did actually get you something for your birthday," she said with a laugh.

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Really? Not an 'Ana remake' of Dancing Queen or something?"

"'Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only fiffteeeeeeeen,'" Ana sung.

"Aside from the fact that the lyrics are horrible, you have a nice voice," commented Remus.

"Thank you," said Ana with a grin, trying to fight back a blush.

Marlene's effective comment of, 'Ana, by Godric, you're so whipped' would have been very valid here.

A pause.

"Oh, uh, right," Ana said, remembering the present. "Like I said, I did get you a good present. Come by to my dorm after classes, and I'll give it to you."

Remus nodded. "I'll come see it. Can't wait." He grinned at her then pecked her on the cheek, leaning in slightly. Then he strode away to his next class.

Ana just stood there blankly for a second. "Yup," she agreed with Marlene out loud. "I am so whipped.'

Ahhhhhh hope you enjoyed :)

sorry fpr the weird time gaps in the middle of the chapter, i was having trouble getting time to actually write it 😑