Ravenclaw: As you can see, right here before us a delectable choc chip cookie. There is only one on the plate. So it's quite clear the question is... who's going to have it?

Gryffindor: Me!

Slytherin: Me!

Hufflepuff: I'd wouldn't mind having it myself, but if you want it I'm happy for you to have it!

Slytherin: Why, thank you, Hufflepuff. I always knew we were great friends -

Gryffindor: And I always knew that she was addressing both of us.

Ravenclaw: Calm down everyone! I think you all know the rational and pragmatic way to conclude this matter -

Gryffindor: Speak English, won't you?

Ravenclaw: *growls*

Hufflepuff: *quickly* What's your suggestion, Ravenclaw?

Ravenclaw: *haughtily* To divide the cookie, obviously.

Slytherin+Gryffindor: Bad idea.

Ravenclaw: UGH you two are so stu -

Hufflepuff: No need to get worked up, you three! Fair is fair. We should split the cookie!

Slytherin: Maybe we shouldn't waste so much time having pointless conversations about dividing and other mathematical things and the most worthy person should have it - therefore, me.

Gryffindor: *angry* WoRtHY? That sounds very blood status related to me -

Hufflepuff: Gryffindor, it's fine, he didn't mean that -

Ravenclaw: And we don't need to hear you, Gryffindor, with all your noble chivalrous attitude. You partly caused this -

Hufflepuff: *Gasp*

Ravenclaw+Gryffindor: What?

Hufflepuff: The cookie's gone!

Everyone: *Silence*

...

*Munching noises*

Ravenclaw+Gryffindor+Hufflepuff: SLyThERin.........

Slytherin: *Swallow* Problem solved.