Looking for feed back

written by Alice

Hello! I'm looking for feedback on my writing I'm to nervous to show it to people I know personally so this is my alternative! Enjoy

Last Updated

05/31/21

Chapters

3

Reads

381

This is a piece I am very proud of its my favorite section I've written so far

Chapter 1
Alice couldn't sleep. She kept tossing and turning trying to get comfortable on the cold forest floor, her mind kept wandering home even though it had been months since she had left she kept wondering, who survived, what was left? The sounds of her brothers screams filled her ears. She stood up and walked over to J.J, “Hey” she said as she approached J.J jumped “Oh hey you startled me”
Alice sat next to J.J and looked up at the stars “wow the stars are beautiful tonight” Alice breathed J.J looked up gazing at the stars “I guess they are'' He said, Alice looked at J.J his eyes were unfocused and gazing at the stars, his hair had grown quite a bit since they first met his low ponytail reached almost to the end of his shoulder blades.
“Why are you staring at me like that?” J.J said, Alice’s face flushed. Luckily it was too dark for J.J to see Alice’s face turn red. “Oh um I was just thinking” Alice stuttered J.J smiled “about me?” Alice was quiet for a moment thinking “Yeah, you’ve grown up when i first met you, you looked like a lost boy” J.J laughed softly “well I was” Alice poked him “Yeah and you looked it, you were skinny and your hair was a mess” J.J laughed again “I think Luna would have a heart attack if she had seen me then.”
he was right Luna made sure even though they were wanted criminals that they kept appearances up. Alice turned and looked at the stars again “What's changed?” J.J asked
“What do you mean?” Alice asked “You said I looked like a lost boy, what's changed?” Alice thought, to be honest he had barely changed, sure his hair had grown but it didn't really make a difference
“I guess i see you as more. I mean when we first met to be honest i didn't like you, I didn't like anyone we met or anywhere we went but now… I don't really know. I think I've changed.” Alice didn't really know what had changed but something had “I think we’ve all changed” J.J said Alice drew her gaze from the stars back to J.J she was startled to see him gazing back at her “Why are you looking at me like that?” Alice said, J.J smiled “Can I not look at you?” Alice looked away embarrassed, J.J giggled “You get flustered so easily” “Humph” Alice sighed.She looked over at J.J, he was looking at the stars a soft smile playing on his lips,
she scooted closer to him so that their shoulders touched “May I?” he asked holding his arm out behind her, “Of course” she said leaning into him as he settled his arm around her waist



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