Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone... but not really
written by Jovana Gryles
"Slytherin... all dark witches and wizards were once Slytherins." "Yes... but that doesn't make every Slytherin evil. I can't explain it I just know that I wouldn't fit in any of the other houses." "I never told you that I'm expecting to be sorted into Slytherin." "Didn't have to. It's the house that suits you the most." "And that's a bad thing?" "No. It means I've never met anyone with so much drive, so hardworking, so ambitious. You'll make a fine Slytherin and an even finer witch." 'Or perhaps in Slytherin You'll make your real friends, Those cunning folks use any means To achieve their ends.'
Last Updated
05/31/21
Chapters
28
Reads
1,277
FOUR
Chapter 4
The Bucket List
After spending approximately twenty minutes uncontrollably sobbing with my face pressed into my knees I decide it's time it's time to work out my next steps.
1. find out the date. Ask anybody in this neighbourhood what month it is and they will call an asylum for sure. Gotta get invited into a house and find a recent newspaper. Why does this street have to be so bloody clean anyways.
2. find a piece of paper and a pen to write note. Not to Hogwarts because I'm currently missing an owl but to future Harry Potter.
3. visit the Dursley's under false pretends, somehow get Harry Potter alone give him the note and make him promise to not open it until he gets a very unexpected visitor. Gotta do that without sounding insane and gotta make sure he definitely doesn't read it before or he's also gonna think I'm insane.
4. Find a place to sleep until I can finally get on the train.
I'm wondering, if I were to just knock on the Dursley's door and asked if I could speak with Harry... would they allow it? I can't risk it.
I start walking down the Privet Drive opening all the mailboxes on my way in hopes of finding a newspaper in one of them to avoid having to enter a stranger's house.
And just as I am about to give up and follow my original plan I spot a fresh newspaper on a doorstep. I sneak up to it in prayers of nobody setting their dogs loose on me and snatch the newspaper before quickly running a few houses further and coming to rest at a corner.
July 26th, 1991
Pittsburgh Steelers guard Terry Long treated for an apparent suicide attempt after he was learned he tested positive for steroid use
Okay... so I guess, I hope it's July 26th... also, poor Terry Long.
I scan through the newspaper trying to find a blank spot I could use to pass a note on. God the economy is really shit right now, hm. I rip out a blank piece and put the newspaper into my pocket. Now if somebody would be so kind as to leave a working pen on their doorstep as well that would be tremendous. But that would be too much luck for one day.
So... ringing a random doorbell it is.
I walk up to the closest door, take the deepest breath, trying to find enough courage to ask a stranger to use their loo and then steal on of their pens. The I ring the door. A woman in presumably her late 40s opens the door. She's wearing an apron with a flower pattern over a blouse with flower pattern, knee long beige pants. On her head she carries the largest fucking perm of the world. Yet somehow she's the one looking at me with disgust. I smile at her
"Excuse me ma'am I was just in the neighbourhood delivering some letters. I was wondering if you would be so kind as to let me use your toilet?" she looks even more disgusted now.
The idea of me using her toilet seems to pain her deeply. Yet she gives me a forced smile and says "Of course, dear. It's upstairs, last door to the right." and with these words she lets me into her house and points me up the stairs.
Maybe it's because of the way I look but letting someone into your house unsupervised just seems incredibly dumb to me.
Anyways, it's to my advantage so I'm not going to question it. The hallway leads to many unlocked, opendoored rooms, stupid.
And one of them is indeed an study with a desk basically covered in different pens and pencils. I grab a handful of them, just in case. I also allow the money clip with a bunch of bank notes slide into my pocket.
I sneak to the bathroom and flush. Give myself a quick look in the mirror wash my hands and my face then run downstairs. I give a quick "thank you" to the lady then sprint out of the house, as far away as possible.
I come to rest at an empty playground, heavily panting. Who the fuck allows so much money to just lay around when they let strangers into their house this easily.
I take it out of my pocket and start counting. £100 holy fucking shit. That is a shitload of money. I almost feel bad for steeling it but then I remember all of the books and clothes I'm supposed to be buying and feel less terrible by the second.
Next up I take out the different pens and pencils. One that doesn't smudge and isn't dried out would be perfect right now. I decide to use a very simple blue ballpoint pen.
harry, thank you very much for not opening this note up to this moment. i figure now that you have met hagrid, you understand why i couldn't allow you to read this before. truth is, i desperately require your help. i beg of you, without wasting any time ask hagrid to come pick me up under the big ben. ill be awaiting you there on july 31st. tell him i don't have an owl and don't know how to get to Diagon alley either. i don't know how to get to hogwarts without you.
I softly blow on the ink just in case and then fold it multiple times. I take out the newspaper and fold it to resemble sort of an envelope, i put the note into it and seal it with a couple more folds. If he reads this before Hagrid comes to pick him up I am fucked. He's going to think I am absolutely mental and throw it away.
I follow the streets back to Privet Drive 4, carefully avoiding the house I had just stolen from and ring the Dursley Doorbell.
After spending approximately twenty minutes uncontrollably sobbing with my face pressed into my knees I decide it's time it's time to work out my next steps.
1. find out the date. Ask anybody in this neighbourhood what month it is and they will call an asylum for sure. Gotta get invited into a house and find a recent newspaper. Why does this street have to be so bloody clean anyways.
2. find a piece of paper and a pen to write note. Not to Hogwarts because I'm currently missing an owl but to future Harry Potter.
3. visit the Dursley's under false pretends, somehow get Harry Potter alone give him the note and make him promise to not open it until he gets a very unexpected visitor. Gotta do that without sounding insane and gotta make sure he definitely doesn't read it before or he's also gonna think I'm insane.
4. Find a place to sleep until I can finally get on the train.
I'm wondering, if I were to just knock on the Dursley's door and asked if I could speak with Harry... would they allow it? I can't risk it.
I start walking down the Privet Drive opening all the mailboxes on my way in hopes of finding a newspaper in one of them to avoid having to enter a stranger's house.
And just as I am about to give up and follow my original plan I spot a fresh newspaper on a doorstep. I sneak up to it in prayers of nobody setting their dogs loose on me and snatch the newspaper before quickly running a few houses further and coming to rest at a corner.
July 26th, 1991
Pittsburgh Steelers guard Terry Long treated for an apparent suicide attempt after he was learned he tested positive for steroid use
Okay... so I guess, I hope it's July 26th... also, poor Terry Long.
I scan through the newspaper trying to find a blank spot I could use to pass a note on. God the economy is really shit right now, hm. I rip out a blank piece and put the newspaper into my pocket. Now if somebody would be so kind as to leave a working pen on their doorstep as well that would be tremendous. But that would be too much luck for one day.
So... ringing a random doorbell it is.
I walk up to the closest door, take the deepest breath, trying to find enough courage to ask a stranger to use their loo and then steal on of their pens. The I ring the door. A woman in presumably her late 40s opens the door. She's wearing an apron with a flower pattern over a blouse with flower pattern, knee long beige pants. On her head she carries the largest fucking perm of the world. Yet somehow she's the one looking at me with disgust. I smile at her
"Excuse me ma'am I was just in the neighbourhood delivering some letters. I was wondering if you would be so kind as to let me use your toilet?" she looks even more disgusted now.
The idea of me using her toilet seems to pain her deeply. Yet she gives me a forced smile and says "Of course, dear. It's upstairs, last door to the right." and with these words she lets me into her house and points me up the stairs.
Maybe it's because of the way I look but letting someone into your house unsupervised just seems incredibly dumb to me.
Anyways, it's to my advantage so I'm not going to question it. The hallway leads to many unlocked, opendoored rooms, stupid.
And one of them is indeed an study with a desk basically covered in different pens and pencils. I grab a handful of them, just in case. I also allow the money clip with a bunch of bank notes slide into my pocket.
I sneak to the bathroom and flush. Give myself a quick look in the mirror wash my hands and my face then run downstairs. I give a quick "thank you" to the lady then sprint out of the house, as far away as possible.
I come to rest at an empty playground, heavily panting. Who the fuck allows so much money to just lay around when they let strangers into their house this easily.
I take it out of my pocket and start counting. £100 holy fucking shit. That is a shitload of money. I almost feel bad for steeling it but then I remember all of the books and clothes I'm supposed to be buying and feel less terrible by the second.
Next up I take out the different pens and pencils. One that doesn't smudge and isn't dried out would be perfect right now. I decide to use a very simple blue ballpoint pen.
harry, thank you very much for not opening this note up to this moment. i figure now that you have met hagrid, you understand why i couldn't allow you to read this before. truth is, i desperately require your help. i beg of you, without wasting any time ask hagrid to come pick me up under the big ben. ill be awaiting you there on july 31st. tell him i don't have an owl and don't know how to get to Diagon alley either. i don't know how to get to hogwarts without you.
I softly blow on the ink just in case and then fold it multiple times. I take out the newspaper and fold it to resemble sort of an envelope, i put the note into it and seal it with a couple more folds. If he reads this before Hagrid comes to pick him up I am fucked. He's going to think I am absolutely mental and throw it away.
I follow the streets back to Privet Drive 4, carefully avoiding the house I had just stolen from and ring the Dursley Doorbell.
