CHARON
Seen plenty of people all over the years
From heroes to half-bloods, with their pitiful tears
Thinkin' that they'll save a loved one
From below

ENSEMBLE
Oh no, oh no! Oh no!

CHARON
They think they'll pop down for a quick trip

JAMES BROWN
But it don't work like that!

CHARON
So kids
Here's a tip

You ain't gettin' out
We gotcha and we ain't lettin' go

ENSEMBLE
Oh no! Oh no!

CHARON
Down here you're D.O.A.
And you're here to stay
Yeah, you're stuck forever
Never get away

No hope of survival
You're dead on arrival!

(spoken)
What do you think of my song?

ANNABETH (spoken)
It's great.

PERCY (spoken)
Was that James Brown?

CHARON (spoken)
We have all the greats down here! Mozart, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain.
Who do you feel like listening to?

GROVER (spoken)
Ooh! Um, do you have any Josh Groban?

CHARON (spoken)
Mm. We will. Eventually.

(sung)
I ferry the souls of the newly deceased
I got a sweet ride, it was newly leased!
And if the dead complain, I just
Turn up the stereo

ENSEMBLE
Come sail away, come sail away

JANIS JOPLIN
We get our kicks 'cross the River Styx

KURT COBAIN
It's a permanent trip, so don't try no tricks

MOZART
Gentleman und ladies, it's Hades who runs the show

CHARON (spoken)
(chuckles) Oh, look, it's the Vienna Boys' Choir.
They crashed their bus on the way to sing for the Vatican.

GROVER (spoken)
They're kids.

CHARON (spoken)
They're lucky! Their voices will never change now.

VIENNA BOYS' CHOIR (sung)
Eins, zwei, drei
Down here you're D.O.A.
And you're here to stay
Yeah, you're stuck forever
Never get away
No hope of survival

CHARON (spoken)
You're dead!
Who has two turntables and three sick heads? Everybody give it up for D.J. Cerberus!

ENSEMBLE
D.O.A.
D.O.A.

CHARON
Down here you're D.O.A.
And you're here to stay
Yeah, you're stuck forever
Never get away
No hope of survival
You're dead on arrival!
Dead on arrival

ENSEMBLE CHARON
Can't get, can't get away Oooh yeah!
Can't get away 'cause you're D.O.A. now
Can't get, can't get away
D.O.A., D.O.A. You ain't ever gonna save what matters
Can't get, can't get away
Can't get away 'cause you're D.O.A. now
Can't get, can't get away
D.O.A. You ain't gonna protect your friends
Can't get, can't get away
Can't get away 'cause you're D.O.A. now
Can't get, can't get away
D.O.A. You ain't ever gonna be remembered
Can't get, can't get away
Can't get away 'cause you're D.O.A. now
Can't get, can't get away
D.O.A. This is where your story ends today

ALL
D.O.A.!