I
am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.

I
do not weight the same as a duck.

I
am not allowed to wear death eater robes to dinner and shout "Long live
Lord Voldemort" because I think its funny.

I
am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snape's private chambers to watch him
sing "I Will Survive" in the mirror, as it is disturbing.

I
am not allowed to draw a smiley face on my arm and tell everyone it's the new
Dark Mark.

I
will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.

I
will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

I
will not ask Ginny how to properly strangle a chicken.

I
will not draw an L on Percy Weasley's forehead.

It is wrong to refer to Aragog as
"Charlotte".

Professor Flitwick's first name in not
Yoda.

I am not the Care of Witches Underwear
Professor.

I will not swap Draco's broom with one
out of Filch's broom cupboard.

May not mock Professor Umbridge in
front of the press.

The proper way to report to Professor
McGonagall is "You wanted to see me, Professor?" Not "I have it
on good authority that you have no evidence."

I
may not try to clean a ghost using a vacuum cleaner.