I try to occupy my brain by recalling quidditch league chaser stats from the previous match, but my thought drifts toward Eliza Griffin. I’m 66.4% sure she won’t be my friend anymore and approximately 101% sure I blew my last chance of something more when I lied to her about her beauty. How could I not consider the most beautiful girl I ever saw. Clever, talented in quidditch, quick to learn, smiling brown eyes that seem to set my heart in flames when she stares at me with concentration. The problem is, every guy can see those things. Right now she is chatting very animatedly with Charlie Weasley and that other Gryffindor guy… Ben? They are both handsome and cool blokes. Why would she ever see me that way when she is surrounded by guys that would and will drown her in attention if she’d let them.
“You are positively staring at her McNully,” whispers Andre who drags a chair to sit beside me in the library. I avert my gaze from her.
“Well, I do get to dream about something I can’t have, don’t I?” I ask
“What are you talking about? What happened after the match last week? I thought we’d have a new power couple rolling the quidditch scene when I left you two to talk alone.”
“I happened. I screwed it up bad, Andre, you won't even believe…'' I sigh. “She asked me about that slip in the commentary about her and I just couldn’t tell her, so I lied and said it was nothing and she wasn’t that special. We haven't even spoken since.”
“Shit, are you serious? Why would you do that?” he looks at me with disbelief
“I don't know! I guess I don't want my heart broken maybe! There’s a negative probability for her to fancy me,” I whisper aggressively. “Look at her! She is a princess surrounded by handsome knights who shower her with attention. Why would she want a crippled jester like me?”
“You don’t know that,” Andre tries to console me, “I’m 100% positive I’ve seen her glancing at you.”
“Oh, be for real. Her ex is Barnaby “Muscles” Lee…”
“.. who isn’t too bright. You know the rumour that they broke up because he couldn’t keep a conversation with her. Or anyone really.”
“Well, at least he has two functioning legs,” I mutter angrily
“Whoa. Ok. Man. You don’t know if that even matters to her! And that would be pretty…” I’m about to hush him when an ominous shadow is cast over us and we look up to see a very dismayed Madam Pince.
“Mr Egwu and Mr McNully. You both are causing far too much noise. Take your conversation elsewhere!’’ she hisses, and we take our leave. I turn to look at Eliza and she is looking straight into my eyes. She looks sincere and a bit worried. My heart flutters sadly as I roll out of the library.
As we get to the courtyard Andre continues our conversation, which I hoped had ended already.
“Listen McNully,” he says, “I saw how she looked at you when you two used to hang out. And… you just don’t know whether she likes you like that or not if you don’t ask her. I doubt she will come and tell you after you basically told her you aren’t interested.”
“...”
“I’d say the possibility that she likes you is like 50-50, either she likes you or she doesn’t,” he continues as I stay silent.
“Those are pretty vague percentages,” I snort, “How would you even come up with those?”
“That’s the thing,” he smirks, “You cannot calculate what a heart feels.”