Sassiest (Sarcastic) Harry Potter Moments Part 3
written by ♡Aℓσнα♡
Read about the sassiest wizard who ever lived, but this time about other characters, and not just Harry! Enjoy, and I hope this book makes you laugh. (This book is more sarcastic than sassy, but still hopefully funny. Enjoy!)
Last Updated
05/31/21
Chapters
1
Reads
739
Sassiest Moments
Chapter 1
HERMIONE:
When Hermione told Ron she's going with someone to the Yule Ball:
“Just because it’s taken you three years to notice, Ron, doesn't mean no one else has spotted I'm a girl!”
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When Hermione told Ron about Cho Chang's feelings:
"Well, obviously, she's feeling very sad, because of Cedric dying. Then I expect she's feeling confused because she liked Cedric and now she likes Harry, and she can't work out who she likes best. Then she'll be feeling guilty, thinking it's an insult to Cedric's memory to be kissing Harry at all, and she'll be worrying about what everyone else might say about her if she starts going out with Harry. And she probably can't work out what her feelings toward Harry are anyway, because he was the one who was with Cedric when Cedric died, so that's all very mixed up and painful. Oh, and she's afraid she's going to be thrown off the Ravenclaw Quidditch team because she's been flying so badly."
A slightly stunned silence greeted the end of this speech, then Ron said, "One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode."
"Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have," said Hermione nastily, picking up her her quill again.”
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HARRY:
Harry being honest:
Umbridge: Potter, do something! Tell them I mean no harm.
Harry: I'm sorry, Professor. But I must not tell lies.
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Harry's conversation with Lupin and how the Dursley's don't care:
Lupin and Harry:
“Harry, I've left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry--"
"They won't," said Harry.
"That you're safe--"
"That'll just depress them."
"--and you'll see them next summer."
"Do I have to?”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
RON:
Ron's sarcasm:
Hermione: Stop moving, both of you. This is devil's snare! You have to relax. If you don't, it'll only kill you faster!
Ron: Kill us faster? Oh, now I can relax!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
More sarcasm from Ron:
Hermoine discussing Horcruxes with Ron and Harry:
“Because a Horcrux is the complete opposite of a human being.”
Seeing that Harry and Ron looked thoroughly confused, Hermione hurried
on, “Look, if I picked up a sword right now, Ron, and ran you through with it, I
wouldn’t damage your soul at all.”
“Which would be a real comfort to me, I’m sure,” said Ron.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WEASLEY TWINS:
My favorite funniness from the twins:
Molly : Fred, you next.
George : He's not Fred, I am!
Fred : Honestly, woman. You call yourself our mother.
Molly : [to Fred] Oh, I'm sorry, George.
Fred : I'm only joking, I am Fred!
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When Fred gave a point:
Oliver Wood: We play our game, Hufflepuff doesn't stand a chance. We're stronger, quicker and smarter.
Fred: And not to mention they're dead scared that Harry'll petrify them if they fly anywhere near him.
Oliver : Well, that too.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Not that sassy, but funny Fred:
Fred (about Voldemort): He can move faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fred only caring about being funny:
Fred : How you feeling, Georgie?
George : ...Saint-like.
Fred : ...Come again?
George : Saint-like.
[points to ear]
George : I'm holey.
Fred: The whole wide world of ear-related humor, and you go for holey?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The twins just being dumb:
Fred and George: [after the Seven Potters transformation] Wow, we're identical!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just more sarcasm from the twins:
"Oh, you're prefect Percy? You should have said something, we had no idea."
"Hang on I think I remember him saying something about it once...."
"Or twice—"
"A minute—"
"All summer—"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That concludes to the end of this book! Make sure to read parts 1 and 2 also.
Even though the title is named sassiest moments, I think we could all agree it should be called, sarcastic moments. Thank you for reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-
AwesomePotion101
When Hermione told Ron she's going with someone to the Yule Ball:
“Just because it’s taken you three years to notice, Ron, doesn't mean no one else has spotted I'm a girl!”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When Hermione told Ron about Cho Chang's feelings:
"Well, obviously, she's feeling very sad, because of Cedric dying. Then I expect she's feeling confused because she liked Cedric and now she likes Harry, and she can't work out who she likes best. Then she'll be feeling guilty, thinking it's an insult to Cedric's memory to be kissing Harry at all, and she'll be worrying about what everyone else might say about her if she starts going out with Harry. And she probably can't work out what her feelings toward Harry are anyway, because he was the one who was with Cedric when Cedric died, so that's all very mixed up and painful. Oh, and she's afraid she's going to be thrown off the Ravenclaw Quidditch team because she's been flying so badly."
A slightly stunned silence greeted the end of this speech, then Ron said, "One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode."
"Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have," said Hermione nastily, picking up her her quill again.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HARRY:
Harry being honest:
Umbridge: Potter, do something! Tell them I mean no harm.
Harry: I'm sorry, Professor. But I must not tell lies.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Harry's conversation with Lupin and how the Dursley's don't care:
Lupin and Harry:
“Harry, I've left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry--"
"They won't," said Harry.
"That you're safe--"
"That'll just depress them."
"--and you'll see them next summer."
"Do I have to?”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
RON:
Ron's sarcasm:
Hermione: Stop moving, both of you. This is devil's snare! You have to relax. If you don't, it'll only kill you faster!
Ron: Kill us faster? Oh, now I can relax!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
More sarcasm from Ron:
Hermoine discussing Horcruxes with Ron and Harry:
“Because a Horcrux is the complete opposite of a human being.”
Seeing that Harry and Ron looked thoroughly confused, Hermione hurried
on, “Look, if I picked up a sword right now, Ron, and ran you through with it, I
wouldn’t damage your soul at all.”
“Which would be a real comfort to me, I’m sure,” said Ron.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WEASLEY TWINS:
My favorite funniness from the twins:
Molly : Fred, you next.
George : He's not Fred, I am!
Fred : Honestly, woman. You call yourself our mother.
Molly : [to Fred] Oh, I'm sorry, George.
Fred : I'm only joking, I am Fred!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When Fred gave a point:
Oliver Wood: We play our game, Hufflepuff doesn't stand a chance. We're stronger, quicker and smarter.
Fred: And not to mention they're dead scared that Harry'll petrify them if they fly anywhere near him.
Oliver : Well, that too.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Not that sassy, but funny Fred:
Fred (about Voldemort): He can move faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fred only caring about being funny:
Fred : How you feeling, Georgie?
George : ...Saint-like.
Fred : ...Come again?
George : Saint-like.
[points to ear]
George : I'm holey.
Fred: The whole wide world of ear-related humor, and you go for holey?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The twins just being dumb:
Fred and George: [after the Seven Potters transformation] Wow, we're identical!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just more sarcasm from the twins:
"Oh, you're prefect Percy? You should have said something, we had no idea."
"Hang on I think I remember him saying something about it once...."
"Or twice—"
"A minute—"
"All summer—"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That concludes to the end of this book! Make sure to read parts 1 and 2 also.
Even though the title is named sassiest moments, I think we could all agree it should be called, sarcastic moments. Thank you for reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-
AwesomePotion101
